Nouveau Dish

Wherein things come together better than anticipated

2011-08-30T21:23:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when life gets heavy, we tuck ourselves in under a blanket. we hibernate until we are stronger, until we regain the confidence to exert ourselves - finding that thin, shimmering thread of extravertedness which we must cultivate, else becoming swallowed by the self absorption named self preservation. But when we follow that thread, when we take the bold move of following where it might lead, one brave step into what Might Be, that is where reward can be found.

And sure, I know that my small brave steps are insignificant in the grand, universal scale of what really matters. But if we are to change anything, we must start with these small, bold steps, and allow those rewards to kindle the next.

Sunday was my first race with my new team. An all women team - made up of some of the kindest, happiest group of women I could have hoped to dream up. And I can't wait to get to know them better, as I work on letting down my own walls and learning how to be more approachable myself. We raced, I raced, gosh darnit! for the first time, Really, in about two years. I was focused! I put my head down and went for it. I found a maintainable pace. For only a portion of only one lap, did the doubt creep in my mind-stream, which was quickly shut down & replaced by a new voice. A voice of confidence. A voice of encouragement. My Own voice, for once, telling me "Yes, I can... just shut up and do it." A new voice that I am hoping to get to know better, as the demands of the racing season increase. I placed an astonishing 8th, in the top 25%! We celebrated after. We basked in the glow as our team mate took 3rd, and saw the wave of accomplishment wash over her. And then gathered that evening for a team BBQ.

We were asked to bring a side or dessert. After much deliberation I settled on a dessert. Figs have been in season, and I've been drooling over tarts and galettes. But perhaps there will be a GF need.. I don't have enough practice with vegan, so I stopped there. I settled on a shortbread crust, thanks to Bob's Red Mill for a delicious GF shortbread mix. I topped that with a thin layer of blackberry jam, frangipane (GF by using some of the shortbread mix to replace the flour) and sliced figs. Bakewell! Maybe. Still not sure if this technically qualifies, but it was gorgeous. Served with fresh blackberries picked up at the farmer's market, and voilà!

This is what I love. Taking concepts, flavors, and melding them together and adjusting to meet a specific need, only to have it turn out even better than you can imagine.. and to be able to share that flavor and experience with others? Especially those who usually have to bypass the desserts and look on as others savor their bite of cake? This is a joyful moment.

Bonne Année!

2011-01-01T01:11:00.000-08:00

A new day, a new year, a new decade.

Cheers!

Finale

2010-12-28T12:16:00.000-08:00

Adios, two thousand ten. I want to say good riddance, and don't let the door hit you on the way out. I want to hate you, for all you hated on me, on us. But I don't. I know you didn't set out to shit on us... to break us, to test our patience and fortitude. But here we are - the year quietly raining to an end. I am a year older, and this time, a year wiser. A year stronger. A year more patient, aware, and focused. These challenges served to temper my will.

And so I look to begin a new year, with inner peace, with a healthy respect for the fragility of these bodies that carry our spirit, and for the burden we impose upon our earth. I will not promise grand and sweeping changes; I will not fret over the superficial milestones I might once have placed; for that is not who I am.

What I Am, I'm seeing with clearer focus. What is, what may be. What is important, and what isn't worth the worry it attempts to demand.

So, on to next year. With hope, with strength, with optimism.

Race Prep

2010-10-23T17:59:00.000-07:00

The day before... Checking weather reports, and packing bags. Running out for those last minute items - stopping at bike shops and food shops and the general store. Wrapping bars, changing tires, filling flasks. It's a routine, a ritual, and while these tasks were once a last minute stress, they now calm nerves and inspire.

Checklists? Check. Dinner done, and the storm rolls in. Once again we'll rise early, and be on the road with the sun. Although it's unlikely we'll see any of it. Instead, a thick downpour of rain will greet us - the promise of mud, of bogs, of soggy slopes. Tomorrow is such a day as will eat derailleurs for breakfast, and make a mess of us all.

We flock to it ~ for this is the stuff that cross is made of. Fitness be damned - I'm gonna ride.

Please Hold

2010-09-30T10:10:00.000-07:00

"Please HOLD, I'll connect you. Please HOLD, I'll connect you. Please HOLD, I'll connect you. Please HOLD, I'll connect you...." We're stuck in a loop, and the operator to the universe is dropping our call.

I won't lie - the piñata of life that is our 2010 was full of shit. Nothing to do but keep swinging away at it until it is empty, no? Maybe there Is a prize with a golden ticket stuck in there somewhere?

But, we are learning just how patient we can be. How tolerant. How supportive. How broken we can be and still cling to humor. That doesn't mean we aren't sending the universe a big ol' middle finger salute - because we are; both hands, and mean faced. Did we get the worst of it? Certainly not. But if I may cry Uncle - and ask for a reprieve, then I do. Please, world, back off a bit?

Ups & Downs

2010-08-27T13:37:00.000-07:00

This Up is Down: As a follow on to my last post - I'm happily amazed that I've been able to wrangle my eating habits back in control. I've been tracking using thedailyplate & quickly adjusted intake volume & made smarter decisions, so that I wouldn't let one splurge turn into a lost day. Huzzah! The weight is starting to drop.

This Down is Down, and needs to get up: Our younger dog injured his neck over the weekend, which led to far too many hours at the emergency vet where there was little we could do to help him. He finally saw the neurosurgeon, and ended up having surgery. He's now resting at home, unable to walk or hold himself up - so we're giving constant care, lots of PT, and hoping to see him bounce back.

Mid year resolutions

2010-08-17T17:09:00.000-07:00

As you might notice from the most recent posts, I’ve been on a bit of a Sweets kick. And, I’ll admit, dealing with fibro was a bit like pulling a parachute stop on a healthy lifestyle. Before all that hit, I was in a pretty good place, but I was trying to wing it. Trying to get past those final few pounts to my Ideal Goal Weight. Casino blings & flashy lights. Trying, without wanting to track, or to be That Anal about it. Because I’m smart right? I can do this. But the goal would start to slip… just a little further away… and so I set a high water mark – that if I hit That number, I get serious and Do Something About It. Right.

So, I plateaued just under that value. And I think I had a pretty good balance of mostly healthy & occasional treats. But I wasn’t working out like I used to. And I wasn’t cutting back on food - at all. And then the Full Stop came, and suddenly days roll in to weeks of no exercise. And I’m hungry. And a little bit feeling sorry for myself, and a little bit telling myself that I Deserve a treat. And days accumulated, and I bought shorts a size up. And here, today, two months later, those shorts Barely Fit. And I’ve blown past the high water mark by 10 Pounds. TEN. I mean seriously, what did I Think would happen? Now, I know some of you will size me up and say “you Aren’t Fat.” Or there is no Way I could possibly tip the scales to That degree. I get it. But I can’t let it go on like this. And since this blog is all about me anyway, I get to say No, this isn’t an acceptable trajectory.

So what am I gonna do about it?

One, I’ve contacted a couple friends, and will be more open with them about my progress, as my personal accountability and motivational team.

Two, I’m going to once again track my intake. Because I can’t do it all with fitness (and as a reminder by http://www.fitbodyfix.com/exercise-doesnt-work-for-fat-loss-a-personal-trainers-story/ - fitness alone won’t fix it!) I will focus on the food, and add fitness as I’m able. A little editing, and a little more awareness, and that’ll put me back on track. Thankfully I’ve had my basic metabolic rate measured, so I have some factual data on where my caloric intake baseline needs to be. In my case, that number is Quite a bit lower than web calculations give! Even so, I still find TheDailyPlate to be the best resource for quick entry. (For deeper analysis, check out NutritionData – tho you might find you have to upload your food details.)

I wish I could rely on intuitive eating ~ but there are just so many bad habits to fall back on, far too easily. Even with all the knowledge I have on eating healthfully, there is a lot of pre-programmed baggage that gets in the way. As for goals? I know where I want to be. I could give you a size and a number, but I think this time I need to take that away. To put all the focus on behavior, and let the results follow. I’ll keep an eye on them, but not obsessively.

One of my challenges is my sweet tooth, and general enjoyment of Really Good Food. I acknowledge I need to have a little bit of this in my life, and getting back to tracking will help me ensure that I keep this to an appropriate portion of my intake. In my dream-life, I own a bakery that is half splurge, and half healthy but delicious treats. So, this seems like a great time to start exploring and testing out healthy treats that don’t break the caloric budget, so I can fill up that half of the shoppe. Something really delish, that doesn’t feel like you are Settling by eating healthier. Because really, No One loves Carob.

Another challenge is advanced planning. My new menu board keeps track of dinners, and I’m trying to get better about having emergency backup plans that don’t always end in Burgerville. I mean, I love it, but I don’t want to LOOK like I love it ;)

So, Self… good luck. You can do it!

Too Swoon, Anthro...

2010-08-02T14:40:00.000-07:00

too swoon!

Accoutrement Booties
$298 - anthropologie.com
More Anthropologie shoes »

Keble College Oxfords
$148 - anthropologie.com
More oxfords »

New Arrivals - Shoes & Bags - Anthropologie.com
$268 - anthropologie.com

New Arrivals - Shoes & Bags - Anthropologie.com
$258 - anthropologie.com

New Arrivals - Shoes & Bags - Anthropologie.com
$248 - anthropologie.com

New Arrivals - Shoes & Bags - Anthropologie.com
$198 - anthropologie.com

Snickerdoodles, Modified

2010-07-26T11:44:00.000-07:00

Recipe: http://www.bhg.com/recipe/desserts/snickerdoodles/

Modifications: Allow dough to rest a few days before making.

And use cardamom sugar instead of cinnamon, for a light flavor.

Happy Fourth!

2010-07-03T13:37:00.000-07:00

Balsamic Strawberry cupcake batter

Evidence

Cupcakes!!
Red sprinkles & lemon zest.

{T}- mobile post

Macaron

2010-06-21T15:40:00.000-07:00

It's hard to not be fascinated with the delicate Macaron. For MIL's birthday, I decided to make a raspberry with chocolate ganache filling. Unfortunately, I found out that a convection oven will turn the pink cookies a generic brown - but flavor was spot on.

For the ganache, I stayed with dark chocolate & coconut milk, piped and sandwiched. For the gift, I packaged a box, wrapped them up in waxed paper, and voila!

Comics Confession

2010-06-11T11:22:00.000-07:00

I grew up with Saturday Morning Cartoons. You know, when the really Good Stuff was on. And as I grew older, I never really outgrew animation. Nor comics. Which is probably why I'm such a fan of Futurama and Pixar and various online comics. The new animated Neighbors from Hell? Awesome. Futurama coming back? Double Awesome Salchow. Drawing and humor and story telling? I wish I had the talent trifecta. I mean, Molly Crabapple's Puppet Makers? Brilliant!

I can't start my day without catching up on my favorite comics. These drawn worlds fascinate me. And today, thanks to Scott Kurtz @ PVP Online, I am now enamored with The Abominable Charles Christopher. Go there, start at the beginning, and tell me if you could get thru without a tear. I sure couldn't! This is brilliant and moving. Serioulsy, check it out! And if you want to buy me the print or the book, hey, I won't complain!

Here's my current webcomic list, in addition to the two above:

Blip

Brathalla
Calamities of Nature
Complex Actions
Ctrl+Alt+Del
dog eat doug
evil inc
/gu comics
goats
Imy
wingwars
kawaiinot
mal and chad
Order of the Stick
penny-arcade
real life comics
wapsi square
Wayfarers Moon
xkcd
Xylia Tales
Yehuda Moon

So - what are your favorite web comics? What else am I missing out on? And do you have any sources for animated shorts? Things like this?.. http://www.neatorama.com/2010/06/08/milos-journey/

Why I Heart Cupcakes

2010-05-29T09:47:00.000-07:00

Is there any dessert that is as cute, fun, and happy as a platter of cupcakes?

These were served at a party, I heard they were lavender & delicious. I didn't catch the name of the bakery, but Bravo!

Sushi - my first cooking class

2010-05-29T09:42:00.000-07:00

I haven't taken a cooking class since HomeEc back in 7th grade. When I missed a question on a quiz for calling this a spatula, when the correct answer was rubber scraper. Whatever. As you can see, I'm clearly over it. So, when Longbottom Coffee started offering cooking classes, I was excited! I really wanted to attend the pre-mother's day class (madeleine, lemon curd, etc) but they canceled due to low attendance. Next offering? Sushi! yes! I <3 sushi! So of course, I signed up.

We learned how to make the rice, prep the veggies and fish, and make various kinds of sushi. The octopus was yummy, the tuna was a little too fishy (I personally think it needed a good rinse) and the scalops weren't bad - the first time I'd tried them. I skipped the talapia, because, Seriously... however, the eel? Yum! Eating and tasting were heavily encouraged as we built plates and plates of sushi.

It was a Great class, and I'm encouraged to try sushi at home... once I make a trip out to Uwajimaya.

Quick update

2010-05-29T09:25:00.000-07:00

I have started a new blog specifically for health matters. If you are interested, check it out at http://fitandfetter.blogspot.com/

today I feel...

2010-05-20T13:40:00.000-07:00

blharg?

omg iknowright?

Borris Big Monster buy it on ETSY
"Cotton Monster is a unique line of soft sculpture creatures made from recyled clothes and linens.
Every Cotton Monster is a one-of-a-kind creation made by Baltimore Artist, Jennifer Strunge.
Please visit www.cottonmonster.com for more of [her] work and info!"

The latest blood work? Still somewhere between drawn and reported.

The latest schedule? Next week I follow up w/ my primary care, and let him know that after 3 weeks of doing Nothing, my legs are still hurting as tho I just finished a very hard 70mi ride. And I'm tired. Fatigue is less, but still seriously tired and lazy and fully aware of how weak my body is and how little I could do if I tried and how much it would hurt if I did. blharg. Then another acupuncture session, and really hope that it does some good. And a week from tomorrow I get to finally talk to the specialist, see if he(?) can identify what is going on.

I've done a little cooking. Of the take various ingredients & make them work variety.
Crockpot + pork tenderloin + mango juice + thyme & cayenne + time = mango pulled pork.
Broccoli & Parsnips & Olive Oil + oven = roast veg.
(Also tossed a diced mango under the heat, added Yum.)
All these over rice, with a little cilantro, is an easy meal.

I also created a shortbread (gluten free) tart with rhubarb and pears. And a few days later, I finally found the cardamom I wanted to use... of course!

I continue to be inspired by other food creations, like a lavender cake. And I instantly think that would be lovely to make with a whipped cream cardamom frosting, and lemon chamomile filling, because I think my MIL might like it. In which case, I want to try Bob's vs. King Arthur GF all purpose flours & see who makes the best base for cakes. Because that's what I need when I'm not doing anything active, is to bake & eat cakes. blharg

taking action

2010-05-11T22:20:00.000-07:00

Intake: the Diet

When we went to Tuscon for our cycling vacation, we were very fortunate to be fed delicious meals of whole grains, meats, and veggies, fresh fruits, nuts, and, basically, Real Food. And while we were doing this, I read Michael Pollan's Food Rules. This alone was inspirational to eating better, and was all the more meaningful to experience healthy eating as I read thru the Rules. (It's a quick book ~ highly recommended!)

So, I visit my naturopath, and we make some changes. Eliminate wheat (gluten), dairy. And have a pity party for myself. And then realize this is the perfect opportunity to bring back the rules, and embrace them. From there, I realize I need to eliminate corn, based on how my body is reacting. I've also cut Way Back on non-cow dairy (feta) and nuts... Even with these changes, I need to increase my protein intake a bit more.

I am eating lots of meat + produce + carb/starch meals, and aside from the occasional "I miss butter" episode, it's going well. A small piece of dark chocolate, and I'm good.

Effort:

None. The most exercise I get is folding laundry or walking to the cafe. Today, that walk was a little too long for my right quad, which is really quite sad.

Therapy:

Massage. At this point, it's more than my body can handle... the muscles are so stressed they can't take additional work, so I'm going to hold off on that for a bit.

Acupuncture. First session done. Some muscles were so tight we had to use skinnier needles, and even those couldn't get into the deep tissue. We'll do a few weeks of this, and determine if it is beneficial.

Supplements. Lots of these, supporting various things. Plus a big ol' shot of Magnesium & B. Yowza. Felt like a 4 year old getting a shot, and wanting to cry. Waa. I don't know if this morning's waking up & feeling a little bit better is due to the shot or the acupuncture... or both.

Doctors. More blood work, and then meeting with the next doc. I just haven't found the one that can root cause me yet.

My Head. Honestly, being able to write these last few posts has been Very helpful. And a wonderful heart to heart w/ my lovingly prying friend G, and all the support & feedback from my more distant friends has been so meaningful & supportive. Not least of all, a huge shout out to my own McSweetie, who is there for me every step, in spite of my overly independent nature.

Wishes & Introspection

2010-05-06T10:36:00.000-07:00

Three weeks, with zero exercise. No walks, nothing. That's the current plan, and yes it was very difficult to hear. But, I have come to peace with that, and am honoring my bodies' need to heal. That doesn't mean I am not still driven to find the root cause, as I really feel there is something more going on. We'll figure it out, eventually.

For now, my mind has been full of what Could Be. Wishes. Dreams.

deja-vu, Alicia Bock, ETSY

I yearn to get back on the bike, and race on the track. I want to do yoga, tai chi, and kickboxing. Rock climbing? I want to run, and recover my endurance so I can actually Race cyclocross. And do more stretching, yoga, and lots of massage! I want to open my closet and see the Athleta catalog :p

I want to cook more. I want to provide beautiful, healthy, delicious meals for my little family - and more than just dinner. I want to incorporate more farm-fresh, conscientiously grown foods, transporting them via baskets on my bike when possible. I'd like to think I could contribute to a home garden; we have just planted a few plants, but they'll only succeed if M's green thumb is more successful than my lack of one.

I want to do more cooking for others, tho I'm not sure which direction that will start in. I want to figure out how I fit in the food health arena, merging the ideals and initiatives of Michael Pollan, Michelle Obama, and Jamie Oliver. I'm inspired, but directionless. I've searched for a cooking school that has a nutrition department, but so far have come up empty. I have so very many ideas, but know that I can't do them all - at least, not right away. Cook Book? Bakery? Catering? Personal Chef? Cakes? Some of these ideas conflict with my desire to support a healthy food consumption lifestyle, and I haven't quite figured out that balance for myself, let alone on a larger scale.

I want to continue to cultivate and express my creative side. Reading, needlework, writing, decorating, and playing games. I want to learn how to paint on my bamboo, and become fluent enough with image software that I can create those things I can only rough sketch today.

Above all, I want whatever I do to allow me to stay close, to continue to grow with my husband. To once again be a source of joy in his life, free from fragility and worry.

pains

2010-05-03T11:07:00.000-07:00

Cycling is freedom. The freedom to choose to roll along slowly, drinking in the landscape. The freedom to push faster, until the wind caresses you, and speed elates you. The beauty of body and machine pursuing a goal only the rider knows. Perhaps alone, perhaps with a friend with whom can trade pulls in the wind, and you share the same youthful, joyful, happy smile.

With effort, effort beyond the default lazi-tude of the human form, comes pain. Severe if you are doing it wrong, burning if you have done too much, or mild and invigorating to let you know that those fibers have worked, are growing, and need recovery. This last pain is embraced by many - the cost we freely pay to enjoy that which brings so much joy.

I long to experience that kind of pain again.

Instead, I have overwhelming fatigue. A slow and ancient pain taking over my body. This is not Mine. I comprehend the consequences of doing to much, or doing incorrectly. This is inexplicably random, yet all encompassing. There is another thing - a dark and very hurt being - taking me over. The less I do, the less I can. The more I try, the more I hurt. The more I acknowledge, the more I fear the diagnosis.

Strength is who I am. I can not be weak.

I do not want it to hurt to load the dishwasher. I do not want to suffer two plus days for an easy ride. And yet, my muscles and tendons are giving way, and I'm exhausted, but I can't sleep because I hurt. I do not know what I horrible things I've done in a past life that warrant such penalties now... Was infertility not enough? Must I also watch my fitness wane?

Sadness and worry replace hope. I've gone beyond taking it easy… something is broken. Wrong. And I need answers I can work with. Answers that will get me back on the bike - back to strength and freedom.

Chocolate Truffles ~ Non Dairy!

2010-04-26T21:13:00.000-07:00

There are a number of posts I haven't written yet, but I couldn't wait to share this one. Because I'm not eating dairy at the moment, and I Still have a sweet tooth & love chocolate, I recently made a batch of chocolate truffles. How can that be?! Quite simple, and with only two ingredients you have the base for any flavored chocolate truffle you want!

Ingredients from Trader Joe's:
1 lb. bar of dark chocolate
1 can of coconut milk - minus 1/4 cup for firmer truffles

Step 1: Chop chocolate into small pieces

Step 2: bring coconut milk to a simmer
Step 3: pour hot coconut milk over chocolate
Step 4: walk away! let it sit undisturbed for 5-10 minutes

Step 5: Start to stir, just the center of the bowl.

It will take a little while for the chocolate to start incorporating. Just stay in the middle, until the chocolate starts to develop color. Then, slowly expand to the outside of the bowl until a uniform consistency is reached.

Optional Step 6: Flavor! If you want to jazz up the truffles, add your flavors now - a tsp or less of liquid extracts for the full recipe, or a 1/4 tsp ground spices. You can also divide the chocolate into smaller containers, and make multiple flavors. I made 'Mayan Spice Truffles' with some cayenne pepper, ground cinnamon, and almond extract.

Step 7: Cover & chill.
In a hurry? Stick the bowl in the freezer for an hour. Otherwise, refrigerate until firm.

Step 8: Grab a scoop, and form your truffles. Individual candy papers are excellent to keep these separate. You can roll them in cocoa powder, or chopped nuts, or sprinkles... dip in melted chocolate for a firm shell, etc... I rolled mine in a combination of cocoa powder, ground almond, and ground cinnamon.
Enjoy!

Proactive or overly Reactive?

2010-04-10T16:24:00.001-07:00

Either way, I'm finally meeting with various docs to figure out why I'm so extraordinarily tired. I mean besides the lack of sleep this past week, since Matt wrecked his bike & collar bone. He is healing up quickly, thank goodness!

So I started with a sports med doc that came Highly recommended by both my Coach & PT. He's supposed to be good at tracking stuff down. So I went in for my second stress test, this time adding VO2 Max. As outcome of that, we're adjusting down the intensity of the max range on my workouts, as my anaerobic heart rate starts a bit lower than I find myself when I am pushing hard or climbing hills. And, he wants to put me on a 1mo sleep reset, which led to Ambien. I have hesitations about that, particularly of the "don't want to be sleep snacking, tyvm" variety.

Then, for the first time, I visited a naturopath, as strongly suggested by a couple of friends. Because honestly, I was really starting to wonder that maybe what's going on is fibro, thanks to it's ambiguous criteria which are far to easy to meet, and my mom's history with it. So ~ in 60 minutes we filled out a very long form of "what is going on with me." Given this was free text, it was quite a bit of stuff to put down. We both agree that there are food sensitivity issues going on, so I'm starting a dairy & gluten elimination test. To celebrate, I've put a pan of GF Almond Butter Pumpkin Brownies in the oven - and really hope they don't turn out tasting like almond butter & honey on bland, as the dough did. And she's also concerned about my sleep, and we're putting one supplement toward testing that. Yay! An ambien alternative! Of three sleep disruptive modes she listed off, this one really rang true for me. She's also concerned that I may be having difficulties absorbing enough of the protein that I consume, so we're testing that out as well. There were a number of other things we discussed & working on, but overall I left the appointment feeling that between the two approaches, I am doing the best I can to restore a healthy and normal me.

So I haven't been riding much at all. I'm still sore, and this past week of nursing has tested my ability to manage sleep disruptions. For you new mothers - wow! I don't know how you do it. I'm trying to adjust my meal plan as simply & minimally as possible - sticking to what I know, but in a non-cow-dairy (easy) and GF (a little more tricky) way. I think I can do this, at least for a bit. I even had a smoked salmon salad for lunch - holy cow! It wasn't as bad as my mind tells me to expect smoked salmon to be, so I might just have to try it out on occasion.

Well, the brownies are done, and it's almost time to start raspberry chipotle nacho night.

I just wanna...

2010-03-12T18:06:00.000-08:00

be okay.

For more than 10 days in a row, if that's not too much to ask. Dunno what the root cause is, but I'm going to start digging, because this is getting ridiculous. Meanwhile, tylenol is my friend.

Valentine's Day, Lunar New Year, and the Olympics

2010-02-15T09:58:00.001-08:00

How can you celebrate all these with one meal? Well, when you read a blog that suggests a French styling of fried rice, everything else simply falls into place!

My menu inspriations:
Dumpling Pot Stickers
Ginger Fried Rice
Green Beans & Red Pepper Hearts
Orange Glazed Pork
Desserts
Banana Ice Cream
Almond Quinoa Tea Cakes

1. Dumplings... these were good on flavor, but labor intensive. Will probably not make again.
2. Ginger & Garlic, for the fried rice. (Yes, it was a lot!)
3. Shiitake & Crimini Mushrooms, to be sauteed in a little Tamari
4. Green Beans, and hearts cut from a red bell pepper. Yes, by hand. With a paring knife. The scraps were finely diced, also for the fried rice.
5. Leeks, for fried rice

We ate the pot stickers (to candle light, with an Amaretto ginger martini, thanks to my sweetheart) as an appetizer. Then took a quick break while I finished the rest of the meal.

Orange Glazed Pork: Dredge pork tenderloin medallions in flour/cornstarch/cayenne pepper. Pan Fry in coconut oil until crispy brown & cooked thru. In a separate pan, thicken fresh squeezed orange juice, 3-4Tbsp tamari, water or broth, and corn starch. Dip the cooked pork in the sauce, and spoon a little extra over the top. Serve on a bed of sauteed mushrooms.

To Serve: Use a large heart cookie cutter to form the rice. Because Matt doesn't like runny egg yolk, I made his fried rice the traditional way, w/ the egg scrambled in. I topped it with a little red heart, from the red peppers. For mine, I fried the egg, and used the same cookie cutter to cut off the excess white, and topped the fried rice. YUM! I diverged from the recipe a bit ~ pan fried the leeks & diced red pepper, added the ginger and garlic, then stirred in the rice & a little tamari. Voilà!

And now... dessert!

I wanted to make red bean porridge. But I didn't take the 6 cups of water seriously - because that was Far More than "enough to cover". However, once I smelled the burnt beans (mysteriously simmilar to burnt popcorn) I learned. I'm still soaking the pan.

Next up - the tea cakes, in a maple leaf form! Divine! Husband approved! And the little bit of Canada for the Olympics! (Okay, not intentional - it's just the only fancy non-cupcake pan I've got)

But where's the chocolate? Never fear! Banana 'ice cream' bon bons save the day!

1. Peel, slice, freeze bananas (not pictured) Tip: freeze in a single, not-touching layer
2. Place frozen banana disks in food processor.
3. Put on the lid, turn on, scream and jump when the blade hits the frozen-together banana disks, causing the feed tube to fly out and bananas to spray around the room. Hit the off button as quickly as possible. (not pictured)
4. Try again. pulse - until the bananas begin to resemble actual ice cream. (Scrape down a few times) Now is a good time to step on that last stray piece of banana, so it is cold and squishy between your toes, as you retrieve a freezer tray & waxed paper. Ew.
5. Scoop into balls, place on waxed paper and freeze.
6. Melt some quality chocolate, dip the banana, keep in the freezer until set.

BonBons from two ingredients. No, there are not any left overs.

Happy Valentine's Day, Lunar New Year, and Olympic celebrations!

Window Shopping

2010-02-12T08:39:00.000-08:00

I know many people love to complain about Valentine's Day, but I love it. And, this year it coincides with Chinese New Year ~ so you can be sure our menu will be a French Asian fusion!

Here is a charming outfit, some cute dangle earrings, and my new favorite hair products. The smell is deliciously vanilla, but not in a jr. high over-sugared way - leaves my thick & thirsty hair smooth & silky. So in love with this stuff! And the Tiger? I was born in the year of the Tiger, which might explain a few things ;)

Items in this set:
Dripping Blossoms Tee, $68
Gap The scout patch & repair khaki, $55
PLASTICLAND - Retro Rodeo Red Scroll Maryjane Shoes, $49
Mod Retro Indie Clothing & Vintage Clothes, $12
decorating walls, do-it-yourself decoration stickers, wall stickers,..., $22

Tuscon, the end

2010-02-07T07:09:00.001-08:00

Before the fiesta, our cyclo sportif takes care of a little business.

But he did throw down victorious.

And there were many margaritas. Hooray, Monica!

This morning the rain settled over us. Thoughts of riding? Dampened. Running? Do I want to travel with wet shoes?

Adios, Tuscon.

Tuscon Day Five

2010-02-06T14:57:00.001-08:00

Long false flat climb, on very tired legs. Most of the day was flanked by such:

I rode for 45 minutes, and when the world spun as I glanced over my shoulder, I packed it in. Spent some time avoiding the sun, and noticing a random scratch on my leg.

Yep, those are sneakers & not cycling shoes. I was happy to have a break from the heat and effort, but by the time everyone was finished I was almost wanting to get back in the saddle.

Tonight we'll fiesta. Tommorow we fly home. Still debating one last spin thru the desert.

Tuscon Day Four

2010-02-05T19:27:00.001-08:00

"A long ride with a small climb." -the cycling house

The day called for a shy 80 miles, of which 24 were of the "up-mountain" variety. On the roll out, my legs felt cold and argued against every incline. We finally made the base of the hill, and grouped up with some friends to start the climb. Knowing it was only a matter of time before I'd be at the back, I decided to start as soon as my water bottles were full.

The very slight incline into Mt Lemmon allowed a spectacular view of the first climb, and the very first double-back. My legs were surprisingly spry up that first stretch, spinning away at 110rpm, and feeling good. I didn't push too hard, knowing that there was MUCH to come. It took longer to be caught than I'd anticipated, so that was motivational.

Nothing much exciting for the first half of the climb - mostly solo, but a great stretch w/ the supernova that is Tina. We were able to chat a bit, I tossed a stealth snowball at her, and then took my first stop break. It didn't last long, refilling the water & grabbing a bit of food to jam in my pocket - but restarting was Painful. Legs were heavy and slow, never fully recovered.

By windy pass lookout, complete with a faux-cobble stretch of road, I was feeling cooked. Shortly thereafter the road switched around and the cliff was now dropping away on my right side. I experienced my first bit of vertigo, and every time I glanced right my brain screamed "death!" Okay, I'm not doing so well at this point. I keep my eyes on the mountain side on the far side of the road, and my wheels close to the white line so that IF a gust or a nasty car were to topple me, there would be plenty of room to fall on the safe side of the guard rail. Around a small bend, under the shadow of a crag, and I have a mini meltdown. A few minutes of bawling (still riding tho - wouldn't want to stop for that) and it's gone. I am so tired. Legs can only spin slowly, rpms at 70, speed under 7mph, and that damn road just keeps going. And if I can't see it in front of me, I can look to the left, against the Next substantial hillside, and see it climbing way over there.

The support van stops one last time for me, more water, more fuel, and we stuff my jacket into my back pocket. There's still a good 8 miles to go, and this is my the last chance to see the support van until the top.

The bulk of the jacket adds just enough to irritate my lower back, but I'm too warm to put it on. My ride is now peppered with short stops, and mini motivators to make it to the next passing zone, or the next park. At one stop I see a squirrel-skunk scurrying up a tree. And then a sign warning of bears for the next 8 miles. Fabulous! All alone, and there are Bears. heh.. I didn't see any, but did narrowly avoid getting pelted by an ice-snowball from a car flying downhill. That little adrenaline rush didn't last long enough to be useful, so I kept chugging up. and up. and up... I've pretty much decided that I'm past my ability to descend this mountain safely, and so my only choice is to keep going up until I find the van. There is snow piled shoulder high along side of the road, and I finally decide to put the jacket on when the wind picks up. I try to take a photo of the 7000 ft elevation sign, but manage to snap my finger instead.

Eventually I see the first of our group descending, and it's Matt. He cheers me on, lets me know I'm about 2 miles from the top, and I plug on. Tired, legs fatiguing, and so ready for this to be done. I'm trying to mentally calculate how long 2 miles will take at my speed.. and since that calculation fails I try to figure out how many songs it might take. At this point, the only thing getting me thru the climb is my earbud & itunes. A few more riders are descending. I finally see Tina, and she tells me that I'm nearly there. A moment later, and I see the van following them down. I flag it down, and we meet up a few hundred yards downhill, the very short descent was enough to scare me & ride the brakes all the way down. He asks me how I'm doing, and thru a series of grunts & nods, I manage to communicate that I'm Done, and would like a ride back, thankyouverymuch. I finish just shy of 40 miles.

We drive back down, my eyes crammed shut against the vertigo and the potential carsickness. I'm exhausted, but the rapid fwooshing of blood in my ears has subsided. My breathing has slowed & been replaced with a hacking cough. It isn't until we leave the post-climb coffee shop stop that I'm starting to feel coherent. And sunburnt. Managed to fry my right triceps and add a little more freckle-burn to the face. An icy dip in the pool, followed by elevated legs, followed by massage, followed by dinner & compression tights. Hopefully that combo will increase my chances of hanging on tomorrow... I hear there will be a long slight downhill on the way back.

Tuscon day three

2010-02-04T15:07:00.000-08:00

A long, straight, slight downhill. The kind you can really power down. Which I did, since I Can, and to make up for the very slow climb over gates pass we took to get here.

And, more dessert. Still not my cuppa. Each time I see a saguaro, the lyrics "so he stuck his middle finger to the world" pops into my head. And concidering there are about five thousand of these dotting the landscape, it is getting old.

So, for the even steeper return over the pass, I turned on my playlist, put the iPhone speaker side up in my pocket, and rolled with tunes the very slow 3.5mph climb up.

Tomorrow, more climbing, and more friends will join.

mobile post

Tuscon Day Two

2010-02-03T14:28:00.000-08:00

53.5 miles. Started dry, low 50s, and we rode until we found rain, and if it weren't for the cacti in the Sagauro National Park, you'd think it was an Oregon spring ride. Overheated on the way to the park, chilled down drastically once the wind and rain hit (back on went the vest & wool arm warmers) where I powered thru the first half of a twisty, rolling loop. The second half was dominated by a long sustained climb, at which point the steady state riders rode smoothly past me. My groupetto finished the loop & pointed our steeds home, while the others took a second pass.

Rain, on again off again, and within the last 10 miles from home I fall off the back on a small rise. Legs have had it, and I simply can't catch on.. well, I do, after a long solo struggle, but then another rise and I'm slowly drifting backward. We finally catch a break at a red light; that and a quick bite are enough to refresh me. We climb a few more rises of the same kind, and I'm with the group.

Back to the house, shower, many layers, lunch, and a massage. Maybe tomorrow the sun will come out to play, and try to turn me crispy.

Tuscon Day One

2010-02-03T07:33:00.000-08:00

I should probably start with an apology to M for being so introverted on the flight... to be honest, I tried to ignore how rapidly this vacation was approaching, because I'm downright nervous.

I'm behind in my training. I'm not feeling strong. I'm worried that my endurance will give out long before the ride is over. I know just how slow I am on the hills, of which there are many. But most of all, I look around the cycling house and feel fat, and my pride is all up in my face with fear that I'll be That Person off the back. Every day.

Yesterday we landed. I didn't even look outside on the approach. Denial. I didn't want to see the hills. I didn't want to acknowledge that we were only an hour from our first, albeit short, ride. We arrived, had a quick half sandwich, then hit the bikes. My breathing? Yeah, gasping & raw as usual. I finished the entire water bottle. One of the guys we rode with was thrilled by the scenery.

I'm not. It's so.. the opposite of everything I love - everything is dry and rough and ready to draw blood and tears from your body. And we're going out there to ride, with little more than spandex and sunblock to protect our skin. Huzzah.

Eat Well

2010-01-21T11:20:00.000-08:00

On request from my husband, and because I know we Should, I've focused this month on increasing the vegetation density of dinner meals. A new years ratatouille, Pioneer Woman's cauliflower soup - blended, multi-veg stir fries, etc. But last night, I decided to try a recipe that caught my eye: crispy chicken wraps w/ mango slaw.

Being one to diverge from the Actual recipe, I quickly scanned this for key ingredients, then made it my own.

Slaw: shredded carrots & parsnips - because we don't like the cabbage. Whirl a jalapeno, small mango flesh, cilantro, ginger in the food processor. Stir into slaw veggies, with 1T each brown sugar & white wine vinegar, a splash of lime juice, and enough cultured sour cream to coat everything. Let flavors mingle.

Cut up chicken breasts, bounce in a ziplock w/ cornstarch & cayenne. Fry up in cast iron, using coconut oil (my new favorite thing to do). cook until really crispy & golden brown.

Wrap it all up w/ extra slices of mango in a spinach tortilla.

This will be repeated - often! I'm thinking it'd be equally fab on a bed of cilantro lime rice, instead of the tortilla. I served this with a side of coconut curry cauliflower, tho I haven't yet figured out the magic that Salvadore Molly uses to make this a star.

Weekend Ride Report

2010-01-18T16:38:00.000-08:00

Saturday's ride with the club was a gritty but warm 45 miler, with a few rolling hills that spat me out the back. Of course, it was thru this section that the legs decided to tell me they'd rather be done than finish the second half of the ride... but there was nothing to do but consume that 2nd Gu and hold on. I was fine until we hit Evergreen & the pace picked up, starting to push 20+, and with a curse I swallowed my pride and noodled in at ~14mph. Besides, it's good to include a cool down at the end of your ride, no? Okay, maybe not to that extent, but I was cooked and just happy to have finished a full ride. A little food, and home for lots of recovery including the compression tights.

Sunday proved to be a little more miserable. The rain was blowing in, and I had just long enough waiting for my ride to rethink my clothing choice - and did nothing about it. 45-50 degrees is fairly warm, and so I was playing with the zippers the entire first half of the ride to regulate temperature. Lessons learned? 1) I can't stand anything touching the front of my neck, particularly when there are hills to climb. and 2) a unisex vest is very difficult to zip over the boobs w/out sitting straight up.

We climbed the first hill, something or other that lead to mountain home, then over to holly hill for good measure. I wasn't nearly as far off the back as the week before, but I certainly don't have "spin up the hills" legs. Slugging up, 6.5mph until the road points up at a steeper angle, and then it's all the way down to 4.5. Alone. One a quiet, peaceful country climb - forest on one side, a cathedral of orchard branches on the other, birds chirping and the swollen stream gurgling through the underbrush. Serene. A fat, two tone slug also slowly crept up hill, and rather than sacrificing it I rode around & let it be.

I was so tired by the end of that third hill that standing started to hurt too. But the reward is flying back downhill, 35mph plus, where the light rain turns to sharp, icy shards as they hit your face. The solution? Go faster.

By the time we returned to flat road, it was apparent my tights, shoes, socks, gloves, and hair were soaking wet. It was cold again, and our group surged 17 to 23 and back, just enough to thrash the legs. Bob calls over his shoulder "You Will stay on my wheel." Yes Sir. No argument. That wheel is keeping me calm, keeping me in the pace line, and I know it will lead me home. And I'm good - really - until that one last horrendous false flat. The legs give out. I dig, the lower back gives out. My lungs give out, and I've popped. Gasping, Frustrated, and a few tears mixed in the rain, I've lost the wheel I'm following, and nothing in me can catch it. Thankfully, he slows up, and drags me back in. Somehow, blowing up has given my body a quick reset, and I'm okay the remainder of the way in.

Back at the car, I towel off & change as quickly as possible. I'm shivering all the way home, although the heat is on max. I check my phone, and am thrilled that Matt has picked up groceries for dinner. Another evening of resting the legs & refueling.

Monday's legs are surprisingly spry. We'll see how long that lasts thru strength class ~ and the only thing getting me through That are the two days of rest that follow.

To the Tens

2010-01-15T17:00:00.000-08:00

The snow has long ago melted, and we've settled in for the lingering damp that is a Pacific NW winter. I feel as though my new year is only now getting underway, since I'm finally out from the cloud of unwell that blanketed the majority of our holiday season. Wrapping it up with a four day migraine was spectacular, tyvm.

So, this week was my first week back to Really working out. A reminder of what it means to ask your body to do more than it wants, and the delicious burning sensation that follows. I was able to work out and Enjoy it again. The feeling of power when holding weights. The exploration of muscle fibers as they stretch and pull. The knowledge that this is really going to hurt tomorrow, and the day after, but you can't wait to do it again. Following that up with time on the bike was a little painful, particularly since my wrists were angry, but I stuck out the majority of the time (and all of the work) before cooking up a veggie heavy dinner.

If you haven't tried it, head on over to the Pioneer Woman for her Cauliflower soup. Because - Delish!! I am not a fan of parsley ~ skipped it ~ but I did find that crushed red pepper & some cayenne make this nice & spicy. I also blended the soup, so it is super thick. Our new favorite soup ~ one I'll have to make just enough so that we don't burn out on it. Increased veggie intake? Pretty good so far.

January for me is typically refreshing, where I refocus (as we all do) on what I want to do and to be. Although I'm getting a late start, it feels good. Even if I'm looking at a dark, rainy, gray afternoon. Not long until I'll be riding under clear & sunny skies, applying spf instead of scarves and rainboots.

The Wishing Well

2009-12-30T12:10:00.000-08:00

As we reflect not only on 2009, but the decade that is closing, and look forward to the awkward tween years of Y2K, it is time to focus on those things we wish different in our lives. I do not doubt this will be a year of change for us ~ I can almost taste it. Like the fresh slate of a house un-Christmafied, it is time to look at all things and see with new eyes where the possibilities lay.

So what do I wish for? On a global scale...

First, Do No Harm. This should be a moral requirement of every person, politic, corporation, and organization everywhere. This should apply not only to humans, but to our environment as well.

Universal Recess & Nap Time. Everyone should have the opportunity to partake in both, Every Day.

There should only be three kinds of garbage: Compost, Recycles, and bio-waste products. Abolish "garbage." Reduce or eliminate wasteful packaging. Replenish polar ice caps with large plastic islands (if we can fix the molecular plastic contamination / disintegration issue) to save the polar seals & bears.

For me, Personally...

Eat Responsibly. Don't waste calories on food that isn't good [tasting & for you]

Exercise with Glee. Hold on to the joy and power of what the body Can do. Learn how to manage frustration when expectations aren't met. Respect the need for rest & rebuilding.

Lead a purposeful life. From career to crafting, marriage, friendship, and charity... be purposeful, meaningful, helpful, and loving.

Happy New Year.
Yours, etc. etc.

~Traci

Merry and Bright

2009-12-30T11:55:00.000-08:00

Christmas was lovely ~ and as usual my darling husband spoiled me. My new mammoth food processor, which I already adore, simply dwarfs any other counter top appliance I own. This thing is a beast - and I love it. I whipped up some biscuits, and they were heavenly. Then I made eggplant Parmesan, and again, Yum. I find myself looking for recipes just so I can have an excuse to listen to the mighty whir of the Cuisinart. I might have to nickname it Gossamer, after the giant red THING from the ol' Bugs Bunny Toons. (Just a note, the machine even comes with a locking case for all the blade attachments.)

Yesterday I woke to a beautiful and clear pink sky. It was very cold out, so the dogs pranced over the frozen ground before turning to beg to get back inside & make with the treats. We dropped off the Mini for service, and mentioned that the forecast called for freezing rain, and ensured we could keep the loaner if it became difficult to get back in to the city. Sure enough, by mid afternoon facebook & twitter was filled with chatter of snow. It was falling, and heavily. You know it is a big deal when the distinction is made that it is sticking "on the Ground" in Portland. When we glanced out the window, it was lightly covering the grass and pavement. By the time we put on our new winter jackets, it was a solid white blanket. We walked thru the neighborhood (as did many of our neighbors) and watched it continue to fall. By that evening, we had about four inches of perfect snowball-fight snow, and were very glad to be safe and warm inside.

Tomorrow we venture over to our dear friend's house to celebrate New Years Eve, although we will miss the AZ portion of our group considerably. We're looking forward to fondue and cocktails, and ringing in the new year.

Stockings, Yo

2009-12-14T10:05:00.000-08:00

NOT the original soundtrack, but Funny! And, the inspiration for some stockings I just HAD to make this year. Note to self - you Still hate using the sewing machine. I machine sewed the stockings & liner shapes together. Everything else was pieced by hand, and while time consuming was far less frustrating than trying to machine sew. The antlers were borrowed from our dogs... yes, our dogs have antler hats. They were far cuter than anything I could have tried to whip together.

Window Shopping: Deck the Halls

2009-12-02T05:00:00.000-08:00

Be the belle of the ball ~ in any of these scrumptious dresses!
Hooray ModCloth for this collection.

Window Shopping: Mistletoe

2009-11-29T04:00:00.000-08:00

I've never been on a Mistletoe hunt, but this image by EmmaBradshaw makes it look every bit as romantic and steal-a-kiss worthy as I'd imagine it would be.

And what can I say, the colors are Gorgeous! Love, love, love it! Shall we shop?

Items in this set:
Old Navy sweater, $50
GAP top, $50
GAP jeans, $70
Modcloth.com clothing, $38
Modcloth.com clothing, $15
anthropologie scarf, $98

Athena would rock it

2009-11-20T15:05:00.000-08:00

Let's say you're on the hunt, be it for a vampire w/ to-undie-for hair, or a wolf who's a little rough around the edges. You live in the Pacific Northwest. What would YOU wear? Something rugged, feminine, equally at ease in the lodge before a roaring fire, or hiking thru the woods? Maybe... something like this?

tween 1: ohmigawd, i can't believe you shopped at ambercrombie!
tween 2: iknow,right?!

Abercrombie & Fitch top, $68
Abercrombie & Fitch top, $30
Abercrombie & Fitch coat, $180
Abercrombie & Fitch jeans, $80
Shopruche.com boots, $45

Art of Friendship

2009-11-15T07:50:00.000-08:00

I have a friend who is an amazing artist. I mean, seriously talented, and I always find myself pausing in her home, looking at the artwork she's painted, or how she's decorated her home. And so many moons ago, I mentioned how I'd love to have a painting of a tree in each of the four seasons, and this developed into a sketch, which has now been turned into a fantastic painting. See more here.

I'm blown away. It's currently sitting on our large dining table, and we hope to hang it over Thanksgiving weekend. I'm simply thrilled, and want to publicly and repeatedly say Geneva - thank you!

Window Shopping: Interiors

2009-11-15T07:09:00.000-08:00

I'm online browsing ~ and who doesn't love a good sale?~ when I came across the iron headboard, and wanted to see what kind of room I could build around it. And I found it very difficult to pick anything except this color scheme. I love it. I keep going back to it for bedrooms. Enjoy!

Items in this set:
Modcloth.com clothing, $32
Anthropologie sofa, $2,300
Macys.com, $2,399
Anthropologie decor, $250
Vivaterra.com, $169

Love for Recovery

2009-11-15T06:56:00.000-08:00

I've been in recovery mode since my last cross race. And boy has it payed off! I'm feeling much more human, more relaxed, and better able to deal with the ongoing stress of work. Yesterday the race team went out on an endurance ride in weather so chilly I almost wished I'd embrocated my face. While the speed wasn't challenging, it wasn't slack-off-easy either. And I stayed right with the pack on every rolling hill - thru areas that I'd historically fall behind. It felt great. Then, over a bump that threw the fender strap into the spokes, and I had to stop/fix/sprint back on. And even that felt good! Okay, so by the third time this happened, I was feeling a bit fatigued and had a much longer chase to get on... but Matt or Bob and Kender were there to ensure I wasn't on my own.

I won't say that my legs aren't sore. On Friday Laura put in a lot of work, particularly on my over-tight left IT band and calf, leaving the legs feeling moderately bruised. I know it's pain that must be worked thru, but this is manageable and leading to better, stronger being.

Matt and I also met with Upper Echelon's Russell & Tina, as we start to set goals & plan for next year. I've also contacted Lynn, and am looking forward to training w/ my Bike Central friends again.

Today I'm thinking I'll set up the rollers, and play with the fixie. If my legs were a little less achy from yesterday, I'd brave the rain & cold for a PV team ride.

Window Shopping - Two for Tuesday

2009-11-10T06:00:00.000-08:00

First off ~ the artwork. These original art paintings are by the super talented Dianne of Derbyshire Dales, England. Her ETSY shop is HilltopPaintings, where you will find both prints ($20) and originals ($75). It was this artist's rendition of the English Country house that inspired a story that I've started working on. The art is so lovely that I also decided to build another wardrobe around it. Enjoy!

The Wardrobe ~ a mix and match collection

Moorland Tree

Items in this set:
Old Navy sweater, $37
Old Navy skirt, $27
Old Navy t shirt, $18
Old Navy flats, $25
Old Navy tights, $6.50
Mod Cloth t shirt, $36.99

Woodland Retreat

Items in this set:
J Crew skirt, $50
Modcloth.com top, $43
J Crew top, $40
Charlotte Russe blouse, $20
Shopruche.com clothing, $15

add Fringe Lover's Lane Lariat $64

A Weekend Without

2009-11-09T12:15:00.000-08:00

No races. No getting up before 6 to force feed myself breakfast, pack the car, and stand around all day in a soggy, cold field waiting for my race as I fret about what and when and how much to eat to be race ready. No hosing off myself and my bike, no unpacking the car. Wow, I guess Not racing and ending this year's cross season was the right choice for me! Tho, I hear other people had fun - and I'm very happy for them & hope to figure out how to be in that group in the future.

Instead, on Saturday I rode with the club. We took a route variation, and with friends I haven't ridden with in a while we rode our own pace. By the time we turned right for the Blueberry Fields out & back, it was time to stretch the legs and push out a 22-23mph effort. It felt Great!! By the time we turned around, the rain drops started to fall. Instead of taking the full loop back, I cut back on my own so I could warm up & prep for the rest of my day. Along the way, the near-hail rain was hitting me sharp and hard, and while it wasn't necessarily a Cold day, the rain & heavy winds battered me. In hindsight, I should have put on embrocation. As it was, the thighs were so bright red they looked sunburnt, and had that awful itchy sensation & took forever to warm up.

That evening we hosted some of our friends for a Coconut Bliss tasting event ~ and had a lovely time! The next day, I was able to sleep in. I think I made it till 7:30, when I got up & made some cinnamon rolls. Matt had to work all day, so I spent a very lazy Sunday doing a little laundry, a few dishes, and snuggling with the dogs.

I did attempt to do something active, deciding that perhaps I should try some yoga to help loosen my hips and legs. This didn't work so well, even using the Beginner dvd that I've got - so that by the 3rd pose I threw in the towel & decided I'd need to track down a remedial effort instead. That, or find a way to mix yoga with a hot tub to aid the muscles and tendons that are far too tightly wound. That's right ~ hot water yoga. Contact me for franchise opportunities! (ha!)

Window Shopping ~ November Sun

2009-11-05T09:47:00.001-08:00

And now for something a bit different.

Art inspired Fashion

November Sun by budanART $23

ModCloth Stirke the Right Cord Coat $147.99
Organic Scoop Neck T-shirt in Ivory - kventuradesign $26
Copper Squash Flower Earrings - ShySiren $22
1950's Vintage Leaf Pin Brooch - EarlyBirdJewels $12
ModCloth Minsk Scarf - $19.99
Superlow Boot Cut 524™ Jeans in Mosaic - Levi's $35
ModCloth All About Eve Wedge - $37.99
__________________________________________
Wardrobe: $301

Painbringer - the end of cross

2009-11-02T09:39:00.000-08:00

Let me start by saying this will be a whiny, self-centered post. Feel free to skip it.

Friday: get to the rental house. It is Awesome - would stay there again. Get pizza. Fabulous. Great start to the weekend. I turn on the fire in our room just before we go to bed, so the room is nice & toasty. We lay down, and a massive storm is blowing thru. The constant wind is fine, creating significant white noise, but just as we start to drift asleep, a massive gust blows thru and wakes us up. This continues until around 2am? So frustrating. I've never before been seriously afraid that my car would be blown over. And since we were parked on the pier, I was sure I'd wake up to see the mini floating down river.

Saturday: wake up early. Seriously early - everyone else in the house is still asleep. It is still dark out. But I'm awake, my hips hurt, I didn't get much sleep, and so I sneak into the kitchen and smuggle breakfast back to our room. Eventually, everyone is up and we head out to the fairgrounds. The tents somehow survived the storm. Matt starts his warmup, we survey a very wet and muddy course, and attempt to stay dry from the intermittent storms. Matt races on my front wheel, and gets back from the bike wash just in time for me to warm up. We throw the wheel on, and I take my bike to the road since all the trainers are in use. After a 2 mile loop, I bring the bike back - gears aren't sticking. I try the Shimano support tent, but they are so backed up that they'll never get to me in time. Fortunately, Matt and Sal are able to fix it. It's time to race.

Line up. And the skies open up with a 10 minute storm. Racers and spectators rush to the few tents in the staging area. Four of us stand in the rain. Alaska, a beginner next to me, comments that the only precipitation they get is in the form of Snow. This is her first race - I let her know she's hard core. We have another 5 mins before we line up, so I roll over to Matt & Laura who are hiding under a tent, and am able to avoid being completely soaked.

We finally line up. Matt is there with some last minute advice: Stay Left. All the way down into the meadow, the left line is the line to take. The girl next to me is listening & nodding as well. Even tho I haven't given it a pre-ride, I remember this section from last year. The whistle blasts, and we're off. I'm mid pack on the left, and stay out of the saddle over the pavement - moving up along the way. Into mud - and I keep pushing. Sweeping right turn, I'm on the outside line and I keep pushing it downhill until I can coast. I glance around, and there are suddenly only three bodies up here with me. Push thru the meadow, around and to the climb. And that's where my race pretty much ends. They start passing, as I struggle up the hill. I love the new gears, but the climb takes it out of me. So for the rest of the first lap, it's gasping and going slow. There are a few other punchy climbs - one into the hill where our tent is setup. I know it's rideable, if you get enough speed. I did ride it once, on one of the laps. I also slipped and layed the bike down once or twice while awkwardly trying to unclip & keep myself upright. And the last lap, I nearly make it over the climb when I lose momentum, then start sliding backwards a good 6 feet - and am Very Happy there wasn't anyone directly behind me. The start, and this backward glide are my best moments of the race. And it hits me that I really Really don't belong in this category. I have a number of additional spills, near spills, and a wreck that tried to take my big toe off. When I stand, my left calf is angry, and it's slow going. Every subsequent remount is taxing, and eventually I relinquish my attempts to a full stop, lean the bike way over, and ease my right leg over the frame. I'm no longer racing, I'm just trying to finish. Dead last.

Later that night I'm blessed with a massage, as Laura is staying with us. I tell her my Everything hurts, right down to my eyeballs. Massage proves this is accurate. My forearms & hips in particular, and later that night I have very little control of my right hand as the forearm is so battered & bruised. I go to bed very early, I'm not able to stay awake, but I'm not able to stay asleep either. A better night sleep, an extra hour plus the extra from laying down so early.. and again wake up before anyone else.

We clear out & get to the course. It's a sunny day, full of costumes & craziness. The plan is to just ride for fun. The team costume was Guy Fawks from V for Vendetta. It's awesome and imposing. Unfortunately, I should have dressed as Evey since this is how I was feeling: I hurt. A lot. I fell over a ton. The course was even more technical than the day before, and fear set in. I was afraid of every decent. I was afraid of an endo, of slipping out, of the pain that continued to pile on lap after lap. I tried to ride carefree. I slipped out around a corner, and instantly covered my head out of fear for the pile of riders behind me. They missed, and I scampered out of the way. I ran down the rest of the hill. By the time I hit the sloppy mud again, all I could think about -- I wasn't having any fun. I realized I hadn't put in the training, not Really, to expect anything other than my sloppy riding and crappy finishes. I was beating myself up for another DFL, and that was it. I was done. I rolled thru the bell lap, where every beginner had to have lapped me already, and then decided to just stay on course until I got to the team tent, since that was the easiest part of the race. I rolled over, dropped the bike, and tried really hard not to break down in tears. I've been defeated. Cyclocross has won - it is tougher than I am. I won't get on that bike again this year. I'm undecided on what will happen next year - but that's far enough away that I don't have to think about it yet.

We packed up the car, and my friend from the cross clinics came over. Bouncing. Smiling. She is Loving cross, and having a great time. They all are. I'm here, sitting on the fringe, hating myself for not finding the fun.

My forearms are still tight and painful. Legs are sore. I have a knot over my knee where I mashed the pedal into my leg. I have at least one rib not sitting right. I'm frustrated that this weekend was such a spectacular fail. Frustrated that day two of pain meant I couldn't help Matt unload the car, when he was struggling with being at least as sore as I was.

Astoria, Cross, Painbringer. You can officially f' off. We're thru.

Hillsboro Race

2009-10-29T17:06:00.000-07:00

Saturday. Lap 3, way off the back. Heart beating - thumping loud and steady. Thump turns to a whoosh of warmth in my chest, and I'm startled. Hand to heart, slow down, sit up, and there it is again. Every other beat. I get off my bike, and my breathing starts to go crazy. It's not like I was going fast. It's not like I was working too hard. But my body shut down and my race was over. I try to relax, but breathing gets worse. I'm scared, shaking, I can't process anything beyond the immediacy of what's going on with my body. Is this what an anxiety attack feels like? chaos finally calms. Massage attempted, but I'm so tense that every touch is pain. The rest of the evening is a slow recovery.

Sunday is also race day. The warmup lap isn't bad. I'm feeling better than the day before. I call Tina & spill out my messy guts and fears. She arrives during my minuscule warm up, and gives the pep talk I needed to hear. I don't cry, but it's right there on the edge. This is fun. Fun is why I'm here. Find the f'n fun. I line up in the grid, and am the last in the pack. The girls around me are all calm. I'm calm. I turn my focus inside, and send Matt off to cheer elsewhere. We finally go. I push enough to stay on the pack, I pass a few people, but make sure not to tax myself too hard out the gate.

Zig and zag and into the mud. This part is new, the mud is thick - but there is grass on the edge. I push to the outside, riding over the grassy fringe and making more progress than those in the middle. Not every lap is as successful as this - but there was only once I had to walk after getting stuck in the slop. From grass to gravel, pavement to mud, thru stables and hay. Mud is spraying off my front wheel, and I taste farm-poo. A gaggle of school girls cheer for us. My rests are tiny - a few seconds and I get out of the saddle again. Barriers are where I make progress and pass a few that passed me moments ago. I keep going. Thru trecherous mud before the finish line, lap after lap. Ironclad turned their corner into a money grab. Lap 2 and I nearly had a buck in my mouth. The next-to-last lap I stop, grab the dollar and stick it down my shirt. Starting back up was my only fall in the race - hillarious, but forced me to run the off-camber before the hardest turn. It's a constant jam; I manage to run it every time, racing smart over trying to force the turn seated. The team goes nuts every time I pass, but the voice I hear is Matt's. Always cheering for me, encouraging me. Telling me I'm doing far better than I am. Eventually he tells me I'm moving up in the pack. It can't be far, and I can't distinguish those I've passed from those that passed me.And then on the final lap, I find myself moving up thru the W Beginner's field. Something I've never had to do before. This is what the Fast girls talk about. I call out 'good job!' and 'well done!' as I go by. I see one more girl with a number from my field. I find the moment, and pass her. The moment came in a sloppy, muddy section - I cut across in a bizarre line to pick up the grass on the opposite side, and then charged. The spectator on the corner tells me that was Pro, which gives the legs a little more go. When I cross the line there is Matt waiting for me, holding out a beer for my finish.

This was a good race. It felt like my best, where I could ride and keep going. There were a few near-slips in the mud that taxed my muscles enough to hurt the next day. But I stayed right side up, and I had fun. The heart & breathing never got out of control. And I finished with a smile.

Next up? Astoria, costumes, and climbs. And from the looks of it, a little more mud.

One Evening, 3 Meals

2009-10-19T11:34:00.000-07:00

Big shock, but our weekends are pretty busy. When Sunday means we're on the road by 6:30 am and home in time for dinner, that doesn't leave a lot of time (not to mention having any energy) to cook. So, I took advantage of Saturday afternoon to get ahead of the game.

First up - a prerace chicken pot pie. I poached 4 chicken breasts in some Pacific Foods low sodium organic broth, and spiced it with a little salt, fresh ground pepper, cayenne pepper, crushed red pepper, thyme, a hint of rosemary, bay leaf, and garlic. Once the meat cooked thru, I removed & diced it. I poured the broth into a large measuring bowl, and cooked up a roux. As soon as it was warm & nutty I put the broth back in, thickened it up, and added the chicken, frozen peas & carrots, and frozen diced potatoes (hash brown aisle) - all of the low sodium variety. While these warmed up & flavors mingled, I rolled out some Krust-Ez dough & prepped the pie pan. Not long after, one pie was in the oven, (bake like a pie - till hot & golden brown) and the remainder of the stuffing went to the freezer for another day.

As soon as that was done, I tackled lillyella's cheesy shell lasagna. I needed something I could just throw in the oven post-race, as I am a little burned out on over-crock-potted-fud. I used italian sausage, added a couple layers of previously-frozen-spinach, and filled up the caserole dish. The next day - super easy, nice & cheesy. Matt's only regret was that I didn't use Ricotta {stated repeatedly, with the Giada accent}. So, I suppose next time I'll have to either make or buy some ricotta. But this recipe was a winner - even if the shells weren't those teeny tiny kind. (Seriously, fred meyer, what's the deal?)

Since we're now in the long gray of Oregon's fall & winter, pot pies will be a regular on our menu. I'm happy to have a pasta dish to add, and need to think about future make&freeze consolidated baking.

Sherwood

2009-10-19T07:49:00.000-07:00

What went wrong:

I didn't want to go. In fact, I'm pretty sure I pouted & whined & cried before we left the house. Stupid 5:45am wakeup call on the weekends. Stupid course report from Kender.
Team tent set up in the boonies ~ couldn't even see the race.
No breakfast before our preride. Lap 2 fell apart.
Attempting to use the hand sanitizer in the porta-potty only to have an earwig drop in my hand. {screamed like a little girl & got the frak out of there}
The second half of each lap. That muddy climb cooked me, so I was spent & slow thru the bumpy field section.
Not looking far enough up course thru the tree zig zag. First time thru I hardly avoided the trees.
Spending too much time running up the gravel climb because I didn't have enough momentum or power to stay upright & climb.

What went right:

I went, and I raced.
Getting in two laps early morning.
An aggressive start. I did manage to push thru a bit, pretty sure I cut off Heidi (sorry - tried to not completely take your line away), and managed to stay upright once my front wheel embraced a rear wheel in front of me.
Bombing thru the trees on the first half of the course. Riding hard. Getting out of the saddle to push over the small climbs. Passing other riders thru these sections.
Going fast.
Recovering enough on the gravel run up to catch and pass those who rode past me earlier.
Team members cheering at all the right places; particularly the advice on which line to take before the barriers.
Weighting the pedals to cut thru corners, shift lines, and guide my bike as I flew down bumpy sections.

Still waiting on results. I don't think they'll reflect any marked improvements over prior races, but it felt so much better! I really loved the first half of those laps. I'm looking forward to a few flatter races, and a different gear setup in time for the climbs at Astoria.

Adios, Aspenrose. At least, for this year.

2009-10-15T15:57:00.001-07:00

Alpenrose. A year ago, this was a field of intimidation, of novice.
This year it became familiar. Pain and suffering and training and pushing past the physical limits on the track. Then showing up for the cross clinics and trying to learn how to unlearn my double-hop remount. How to take gravel fast. How to float down a bumpy hillside field, and then to climb right back up. Confidence and handling skills grew.

My first races of the season were far from spectacular. I was bottom-of-the-pack slow. I was frustrated. When advised to simply ride parade laps at Rainier I was frustrated. I'm not a fan of parades, nor Sunday drivers. And yet I was one. I was the one walking every hill, hump, and hazard along the way. Where is the fire? Why the indifference and frustration and inability to really go at all?

After my race at Rainier, I took the bike over the fields to our tent. I pointed it downhill, across the grass, across the course, and sailed as I hovered over the seat and guided the wheels by shifing my bodyweight. Fast feels so good - why did it take so long discover?

Then it rained. It got blustery. An off week. Dry ground turned to mud, and long range forecasts were covered with little gray rain clouds. So Wednesday night we took our bikes back to Alpenrose for the last time this year. A little course recon, a super light warmup & mild embrocation, gear changes, and a race as the sun started to set. Lap one, and stay close to the field. I'm not off the back. I'm not gasping. I'm accelerating - standing and going when I'd previously sad and floundered. I'm almost racing. It feels a lot better than watching the pack blow past.

Eventually I did slow down. I did drop from the wheel I tried so hard to hold & momentarily passed. I slowed enough to recover, and then I got back on the gas. It still hurt - I really didn't like seeing 3 laps to go when my back started to ache. But it took a lot longer for the beginners to catch me. For M & his field to lap me. I kept trying. And I finally finished a race where I didn't suck completely. I'm still missing the fire - the intense and ferocious competitor isn't quite awake yet. To say I need to HTFU is an understatement.

Cobwebs & Wishes

2009-10-12T16:13:00.000-07:00

Seasons have changed. Perceptions have shifted. Friends have moved away, others seem to be drifting as we struggle to keep them tied as closely as they should be. This year, cycling has taken over our bodies, minds, garage space, and time. It is a challenge to maintain the right balance ~ and sincere apologies to those we haven't spent nearly enough time with.

Track season wrapped up, and I finally got in a race where I gave it my all. I felt the intense, crazy sensation of laying the bike over as I rocketed thru the turns, propelling myself more horizontal than upright. The pride of knocking a couple seconds off my personal best. The intense Go factor of the after-burners, keeping me in the lead on a sprint match.

And during my very last track race, I learned how to use rollers. For the First Time Ever. Now, this probably isn't the best time to decide to do something as quasi-wreckless as one's first-time-on-rollers can be. But, I needed to continue to warm up, and having not brought all the gear it would have taken to enable this, Bob offered me the use of his. So we set up next to a metal bike rack and I proceeded to clamp my right hand to it in a vice-grip, while working to keep the wheels under me steady. (If you don't know, rollers are a set of 3 cylinders that you balance you bike on - 2 for the rear, 1 for the front - and you simply pedal and stay upright.) It is a little freaky. So, I picked my visual point out ahead of me, and focused on keeping the bike steady. Letting Go? well, that was a different adventure all together. Because once I did let go, the bike would swerve back & forth in a very freakish I'm Going To Wreck fashion. So I'd clamp my hand back on, and pretty soon had to rest because of the tension in my upper body. But, eventually I got it. yay! It is actually quite fun to do. By my second attempt, L. came over to see how I was doing. She asked why I wasn't letting go - and I thought it was obvious that my wheels were too unsteady under me for that to happen. But, based on her reaction & feedback from Bob - I'm a lot more steady than I feel. Perception is a funny thing.

As track season was winding down, Cyclocross (CX) was starting up. I signed up for the weekly women's only sessions lead by the fantabulous Tina B ~ and was feeling pretty good about my skills. I'm able to dismount and run the barriers fairly smoothly. I can hover glide over a sweeping and bumpy downhill. My remount still has a stutter hop, but it has a smoothness of its own. Climbing? going Hard, all out, for more than 4 minutes at a time? Well, my lungs just can't keep up. After being threatened if I line up in the beginner field, I signed up for the Bs. And, ever since, I've helped lead in the very bottom of the pack. I'm pathetically slow. I have strength, I have moments of speed, but put me on an incline and my legs turn over at a snail's pace.

The improvement over last year, is that I no longer spend the entire first lap cursing myself and asking what insanity led me to think I could do this. I've had decent starts - right up to the first climb or technical section. Then my race blows up, and by the halfway point of the first lap I'm easily in the bottom 10. The Beginners start to pass me. I struggle to keep up. My breathing is hyper quick, legs are mole asses slow, turns are sloppy, and I try to find a balance that keeps me moving and allows a touch of recovery before the next Hard section. And somehow, by the last lap (whether I know it is or not) I find a little more power, a little more speed. I think I run negative lap splits, but haven't timed it to confirm. My last lap is aggressive. Not compared to the field, but compared to my own past performance. And no where near the Angry, full throttle go power that this sport requires. I haven't found that On switch yet. I finish, panting and wheezing. But in under 5 minutes of stopping, I'm conversational again and feel like I could do another lap. Unfortunately, I know I've also spent portions of the course walking, because it is as fast as I'd be able to ride, and gives me a chance to stretch my lower back. This is also starting to slowly improve. Slowly. But at Rainier, coasting and gaining speed on the long swooping downhill, hovering over the saddle and floating exactly where I want to go ~ That is free spirited joy on a bike.

So this week, darling M is finding me a different gearing config to help w/ my uphill impairment. Not once have I raced in the big ring, so we're going to a single w/ mtbike rear cogs. And tonight - really, really - I'm finally going to clean & setup the spiro-tiger to help improve my breathing. I hope that if I can get that under control that my endurance improvement will follow. And if I'm extra lucky, I'll manage to finish in the top half of the pack for once.

We will be racing every weekend thru Nov 15th. And then, a whole new training schedule will being.

Emotional TKO

2009-08-25T11:52:00.000-07:00

Years ago, one of my coworker friends was doing a little 'getting to know you' activity. She asked me what my Golden Compass was - some 6 words that would uniquely define me. (This was long before I'd read the golden compass, and it made much more sense once I did.) So I've had a post-it note in my flipper cabinet at work, and every once in a while something will tickle my memory & make me think about it. I'm not sure about the accuracy of these, but they are: Attitude, Character, Enthusiasm, Integrity, Nurture, and Humor. I think Strength, Intensity, and Truth have bubbled to the surface, so I might rework my top six.

And then, early this year, my business group took the Strengths Finder quiz. My strengths are Strategic, Responsibility, Input, Arranger, and Deliberative. As my husband noted, he's not surprised by this list. So between these, I guess I am able to paint a picture to help you understand who I am.

When you combine Strategic, Responsibility, Strength & Intensity, those sum up my track workouts. Well, the part that is missing is pushing me beyond just working hard to working as hard as I can, as long as I can. It is a very demanding & draining activity. Many times my body's emergency response system has kicked in - panic breathing, dizziness, fight or flight reactions, etc. Learning that these can be overcome, and that I'm faster on the other side, has been a bizarre challenge. Meanwhile, work projects are all hitting a critical point at the same time, so my available energy pool has been fairly empty. Thank goodness for friends that are proactive in organizing get togethers, otherwise I'd simply melt away into the sofa and not realize a month (or more) has passed. And for this, I apologize for not being a better friend.

Then, the topper. There was a non-work incident that resulted from poor communication in which one of my golden compass values was questioned. This gutted me. From shock to adrenaline & shaking to wanting to cry and punch and justify myself and argue and finally, to simply shut down. Emotional overload. TKO. I was tapped out. I don't know why I had to learn that lesson(?) in that way, but it took about a week to be able to calm down and deal with the issue rationally. With the help of my husband (immediate assistance) and my new, fantabulous massage therapist, I could return to center.

For as much as I'm learning limits of my muscles, electrolyte balance, oxygen transfer, endurance, and fast twitch muscles... I've also found out more about my emotional limits than I might have wanted to. I'm pushing limits, growing, and letting some things (like this blog) fall by the wayside. This weekend is my last big Track race, and then the transition to CX. I'm looking forward to a different kind of intensity, a return to weight training via kettle bells, and Autumn, sweaters, jeans, soups and (hopefully) more time to relax & spend with friends.

Heat wave

2009-07-28T12:06:00.001-07:00

It's hot out. the kind of heat that radiates up from the tarmac, baking you, no matter how fast you ride. So until this heat wave dissipates, I'll be staying indoors and as cool as possible.

ciao

July Heat

2009-07-18T14:50:00.000-07:00

Something funny happens on rides during TDF season. Phil Ligget gets in your head.

I decided to roll out with the race team, as this is probably the only weekend before the OBRA masters track championship that I'll get to put in a hard Saturday effort. Yep, that means this race is high on my list.

Back to today's ride. Phil's voice was commenting from the start. "She's rolling out with the big boys today, going to see if she can hang on." We push down Evergreen, Matt reminds me not to do any work, and I take the left turn stop to shuffle my position in the pack. Once we're thru town and on the quiet country roads, the speed takes off. I find myself in a 28mph paceline, and when BRat pulls off (and doesn't slow up) I give him an earful. I have to push to pass him, and we glide back for our rotation. I try to jump back in, but it's getting faster and I have no more gears and at 189 no more room for my heart rate to accelerate. "Well she's done it folks. She held on for as long as she could, but those legs appear to be cooked." Greg sees me suffering off the back, and gives me a wheel. I see my heart rate. Good, only 184 now, it's dropping. (ha!) We become a groupetto of two, as I suffer on every incline. I'm calling out one word status updates. I'm either ON his wheel, or OFF - and he graciously adjusts to pull me thru. My personal domestique. Phil had something quirky to say, but I was too tired to listen.

Just as Greg decides to jump forward and chat with the other two that have also fallen off the back, we find the pack resting in some shade for a regroup. Phil-in-my-head is making some comments about being able to rejoin the group, tho how much suffering is still to come. I join up with Kristin (the only other female in the bunch) and we roll out at our own pace. The breif rest in the shade has refreshed me slightly, so we continue on at 22. The boys are nowhere in sight, and I hear later that the pace Really picked up.

Eventually we see them returning, we turn to rejoin them, and face the headwind. I'm fading fast now, going backwards quickly with every uptick in gradient. I'm so tired, my climbing speed has dropped to 7mph, with very slow recovery. Fortunately, I see the rest of the club is coming around as our paths have crossed, so I tell Matt (who was kindly trying to haul me back up) to go ahead. Shortly after, I was absorbed by a 17 group and we make our way back. The lower speed and larger group give me the rest I need, and I get water from another rider. 48 miles already, it is Hot, my bottles are empty, and I so want to be done.

It isn't over until I clock in 58.5 miles, nearly 19mph average. 3 hours in the heat, and you can differentiate the race team from the club by the salt crusting our faces. I'm congratulated for how well I hung in - and happy that I managed to do that given the way I've felt all week. I love that I've grown so much this year, and have a great team to challenge myself with. I thank Phil for coming along for the ride.

Hardware

2009-07-12T15:36:00.000-07:00

OBRA Track Championships. A weekend of racing - and I was sorely unprepared.

Friday night Women Cat 4 500 m TT. My first time doing this event. I got in a decent warm up, tho the rain hit hard and I didn't get in any accelerations. We huddled under the meager shelter while waiting for the rain to halt. Then we huddled some more, waiting and hoping for the track to dry. Somehow it managed to dry out, and racing started a little later than expected. I rode my 81" gear (I think) and put up a decent time. I finished 4th of 7, 0.25 seconds behind 3rd. When I reviewed the race with my friends & track coaches, we made a list of the things to work on. Unfortunately enough time has passed that I can't recall exactly how it went, or what that list consists of. I felt pretty good, and was looking forward to Saturday.

Saturday ~ a 200m TT followed by Sprints. When I arrived to do my warm up, I realized that I forgot to have my yogurt that morning; I forgot half of my breakfast. So I ate half of the sandwich I was intending to have for lunch, hoping there would be enough protein in it to get me thru.

There were 4 in my category, and with a round-robin match sprint, that meant 3 races each. The 200 went - well, not as well as it could have. My mind kinda shut down just before the timed portion of the event took place, so my lines were off. And, I forgot to stand up, to get that extra power. That said, I took about 2 seconds off my prior time, and knew that I would have been even faster if I'd done those extra two things.

I have Bob and Lynn giving me advice, and Jen always nearby offering encouragement. I'm ready for my sprint, and pull the 1 position. That means I'm being chased, and have to watch over my shoulder for an attack. She jumps way early, and I don't realize it until I hear the crowd noise change. She's way out ahead, I don't use the track well, but manage to crawl back on her wheel (well up track) and then power past her. Again, I do almost the entire race seated. I can't control the bike. I think I'm looking where I want it to go, but it refuses to follow her line. Instead, I'm up track one or two widths, sloppy thru the corners, barely hanging on. I eek out that win, and finish shaking. My fuel is tapped out. I'm jittery, my mind is mush, I'm nervous, and my legs hurt. I start asking around for food, and eventually Lynn saves me by running out for my annoying request for nonfat plain greek yogurt. She returns and hands me a cup - I eat it with 1 minute before my next sprint. I feel mildly better.

I'm up against the fastest of the 4 of us - she's tiny & strong. Again, I'm in the 1 position. She gets a jump on me, I don't respond quick enough. I know my lines were ugly, and the yogurt wants to leave the way it came. She beats me. I review the race with Lynn, but I'm a wreck. I'm overwhelmed with nervous, I remember having a mental block that told me I couldn't go any faster in that race, and have forgotten Bob's name. The bonk is not subsiding. The thought of eating anything else makes me nauseous.

Final race. I haven't had any bike time between races to speak of. Again, the 1 position... and the official shakes his head at me, as if to say some days you just draw the short straw. Half way thru, the announcer states that we're racing to break our tie. I know I need this - I am more aware when she jumps; and I get on her wheel. I stand, and two pedal strokes later I'm on the seat, every instinct telling me to stop and puke right there. I shake it off, and force myself to stay on her wheel. That's all I can do. I make another half-ass attempt to stand, and the body rejects the idea. I watch her approach the finish line. I know I could beat her, but not today.

I'm broken. My head is a mess, I'm extraordinarily frustrated that I've just watched myself give away 2nd place. I know I'm faster than I've behaved, and yet I bonked, had a massive case of race nerves, and put in three sloppy races. I'm circling the small warm-up track. I have to talk to myself to stay on it until my heart stops beating in my ears, tho I nearly crash a handful of times. I'm zoning out. I'm angry, tired, gasping, and am torn between wanting to punch something and break down in tears. It takes everything I have left to hold it in, until I get to the car. The tears stop about a mile from home, tho that is temporary. The aftermath was a crazy mess - and even for all that I brought home the Bronze for Cat4 Sprints. I get home, and spend a good half hour on the trainer to cool down. My mind finally settles. I'm proud of my races, despite all the setbacks.

Sunday starts out better. It's raining at home, but I pack up the car anyway. The track is dry. I haul my two bikes, trainer, food, water, and gym bag down to the infield. I'm alone today - it's eerie. By the time I get to warm up, I have about 30 mins until race time. I jump on my trainer to get the legs warmed up; the track bike is still in the 86" gear from yesterday, and the wheels need air. I try to warm up, but get overheated. Everyone else is dressed like it's cold out, and I'm looking to shed layers but don't have any. I grab the track bike, find an air pump, and put in a few laps. My legs hurt. The gear feels huge. I review the race & get advice from Lisa, and I find out I'm in the first race - a 3k pursuit, racing against a cat3. I know she'll pass me. I have 11 and a quarter laps. We line up, and go. I push hard, trying to get the speed up so I can settle in. By the end of lap 1, my legs are like lead. By lap 4, my scalp and brain are icy mush, and my focus is 100% talking myself out of quitting. She passes me, and I feel SLOW. Lisa yells at me to go faster, but the legs are cold. I'm starting to question if I'm keeping traction speed, and try to go a little faster at least thru the corners. 3 laps to go. I can finish this. 2 laps, I try to find something more. 1 lap, and I get out of the saddle, push 10 pedal strokes, and finish quickly.

Frustrating, but done. I place 4th of 4, and am not surprised. No way did I get enough of a warm up. The afternoon holds a points race - and I've already decided that I need to opt out.

Bob arrives as I'm packing up the car, and we have a good chat. I think he's relieved that I'm not the emotional wreck I was the day before. There is a lot on my plate to work on, but all things that I can improve. Overall, not a bad weekend (4th, 3rd, 4th) for events I've never done before. I have my first medal - and a lot more knowledge about myself & the track.

Mozza-Bella

2009-07-09T20:47:00.001-07:00

My husband loves Italian cheeses. His particular favorite is an Insalata Caprese, so when I saw this DIY kit being sold on ETSY (urban cheesecraft), and Particularly when I found out ordering the kit would support a local Portlander's business, I had to buy. The only question is - who was this gift really for?? Hmmm....

Tonight, I made cheese. Not a ton of photos... tho it turned out to be an easier than anticipated process. Kit ingredients plus 1 gallon Trader Joe's organic whole milk, and I cooked up some curds and whey.

A little longer on the stove, a little draining, a few zaps in the microwave, and I was ready to pull some beautiful mozzarella!

The result? A very mild and delicately flavored mozzarella. The two buns (I tried to make balls, but they flattened out) are chillin' in the fridge, soon to join some fresh tomato, basil, and olive oil.

Yum!

I have about 9 more batches I can make from this kit. I will probably try ricotta, and dabble with lactose free and goat milk varieties. Thank you, Urban Cheesecraft!

Quick Updates

2009-07-08T08:12:00.000-07:00

Tour - seriously exciting this year. I'm hooked & refreshed & cheering for sprinters like I never have before.

Food - this lasagna tart looks Seriously good. Will have to chat w/ my GF expert about changing up the crust, and incorporate the mozzarella that I Will Make this week.

Last night I raced my first 500TT at Alpenrose. I felt fast, as tho I couldn't spin that gear any quicker without losing control. I'm told I looked fast & aggressive. The resulting time didn't quite match up, and put me in at 5th. I need to figure out what I can do with gears and leg speed by this weekend's racing.

This has been a bizarrely emotional week. I'm thinking there is some hormonal funkiness going on. Moving on.

Holiday Weekend Ride

2009-07-03T13:58:00.000-07:00

Friday morning, we ride to the coffee shop to join up with the team for our morning ride. (Hooray 3 day weekends!) The vast majority of riders are on the race team, and they're talking about having a bit of a spirited ride. A quick conference w/ the hubby, and my game plan is to just tuck in, and hang on.

Turns out this is my hardest ride year to date. At the beginning of the ride I'm being congratulated for my win at PIR. By mid ride, those sentiments change to complimenting me for hanging with the group, and riding strong. Of course I'm blown off the back of each hill, but I hang on longer and jump right back in the pack at every regroup. After the climbs, most of us are out of water. It is a warm day already, and I'm covered in gnat shrapnel and pollen warpaint for all the bugs I've encountered.

A quick refuel at a convenience store, and it's hard to get started. Matt sees me struggling, and helps pull me up to the pack. I'm yo-yoing off the back, fortunately a stop sign & highway crossing give me a chance to catch up. It's the final stretch home, and there are a couple of hot spots to contend. Matt tells me he's going to give me a lead out, so I work my way up to his wheel & hang on. I have no idea what our speed is, but we're flying and all I can see is his bike in front of me. Things start to get tingly, the stomach gives early warnings that it wants to empty, so I flick an elbow and move off. The paceline rolls past me, and I hear Ty shout "last one" - I give two kicks to jump on, and hang for less than 5 pedal strokes. My legs are cooked. I won't be contending that sprint.

Closer to the end, we're flying down Evergreen. My legs complain, I start to fall off and Bob (who I've already tried to run off the road twice, and I'll blame being tired) tells me to grab his wheel. I do. I hang on. The difficult 22mph climbs to 25, and 26. Over his shoulder he tells me he'll give me a lead out to a sprint, and I shout back a very un-ladylike response. I think he told me to suck it up - maybe not those exact words, but the message was clear. He powers forward, and I hear 'Go!' I jump out of the saddle, and my legs flop like jell-o - no power, no control, I plop back in my seat "no good, nothing!" There is no sprint. My reserves are gone. One last red light, and our ride is over.

Will I have anything left for tomorrow? Not much ~ tho I'm more worried about Sunday's training at Alpenrose. I know every corner, effort, and sprint is going to hurt.

Friday - 54 miles, with climbing, avg. 18.0mph

Religion of Round ~ my personal Sacrilege

2009-06-30T11:33:00.000-07:00

Sunday mornings used to be a charade of tidy dresses, best behavior, and sermon topics of varying degrees of interest. Over time, the dedication and beliefs that kept me in the pews started to crack, until they crumbled away completely. To me, Church was somehow always an exercise in the hypocritical, and I finally found my peace that allowed me to walk away. Besides, is there not a far greater Presence to be witnessed in Nature, away from all the trappings of man-made constraints? And so it was this past Sunday, as I made my way to my new church - the church of round and around of physical effort - that I realized that this part of my life has settled into a new kind of worship.

Each week a rotation of cycling events - race, rest, train, train, race, train. Each week, each day, each Event a new opportunity to know myself, to push harder and find someone even stronger inside. Some days tax the brain, others the lungs or the legs, or any combination thereof. Some extra days require rest, and it has taken effort to realize that if I Need to rest, I can do so without guilt. Sometimes life's activities take precedence, and that is Okay. I am accountable to myself. The bike does not judge. Nor does it lie or flatter - it is honesty without apology.

Adding a power tap to the process simply maximizes the knowledge of effort over time. I received this note from my coach:

don't think I didn't notice those new PRs last week... cos I saw them!!! Nice job...

Now I have to admit - I don't know Where those new personal records came from. I would have to go dig thru my numbers to figure out when, or on which ride, they occurred. Once I received more details - I found not only did I set new PRs, but I set 6 of them! Of note - my 5s is just two points shy of 800 watts. This amazes me. 6 months ago I would have told you it was improbable or impossible - that it would require 3x the effort than I had time to perform. And yet, here I am - having grown by leaps and bounds over prior years. So when someone asks if Coaching is worth it? Every Penny, my friend. Am I as good as I could be? No where near. Am I as fit as I could be? Am I eating right & sleeping enough? Not nearly. But my balance of effort and results and joie de vivre is very nearly in harmony.

And so on Sundays, I take my wheels to the Velodrome. We warm up, lap after lap after lap. The body wakes up, the mind focuses and relaxes and the body melds with the bike which melds with the concrete bowl. Hard efforts push the mind to challenge just how fast and hard the legs can push. To break thru the barrier of what you Think is possible, and what you can really do. The reward is the taste of iron in the back of your mouth, gasping, lungs nearly heaving out, and fits of coughing. These tell me I've reached a limit - one that Next time will be even further away before I'm spent. That even tho my scalp & extremities are cold and numb against the heat, I can recover and push just as hard again and again. This is simply training, improving, and knowing myself.

Tho the flat circuit at PIR is vastly different from Alpenrose, I take my strengths with me. On the road I can attack or chase, and recover. I can focus my breathing to slow my heart. I'm learning to control the panic, to calm the body, to be comfortable sitting more than 3 places back. I hide from the wind, I ride with wheels mere inches from my competitors. And as I prepare for the sprint, as the pace picks up thru the bell lap, I am just as aware. After yesterday's worship, I know where my limit is, and I promise myself that I will hit it before I let someone beat me. We're racing clockwise, in the final turn (map mark 11), I see a two person attack thru my peripheral vision - I jump out of the line and follow them until their strength fades. This has dumped me into the wind, alone, just before the bridge. Instantly I know I'm alone for the finish. There is no lead out, and slowing is not an option. Out of the saddle, digging for speed and hopefully creating a gap so I'm not the lead out for anyone else. I sit, legs turning over quickly. No one is immediately on my wheel - the finish still very far away.

The wind is strong, I push on. I tuck down, making myself smaller. I will be as small of a windbreak as possible, anyone behind me gets to suffer. And then I am overcome with Calm. My path is straight, my legs turn faster and faster. I'm breathing easily, my focus in front and not an inch of sway in my form. As the finish approaches, crowd noises start to break in. A quick glance left, and I can see two bikes getting closer. I push faster, I hear someone shouting "Throw!" but I've not practiced it at this speed. I just power thru until I cross the line. First. Fairly certain, tho I didn't waste any effort looking over my shoulder to watch it... but confirmed shortly after. I gave it my all, and trust that it was enough. The crush of noise breaks in now - crowds screaming, lungs gasping, legs starting to burn from the effort. I start to slow, make my way over to the grass and stop. I drape my arms and upper body over the handle bars and recover my breathing. That was hard, but it was mine. I did what I needed to do.

I pick myself up, and see my husband - grinning from ear to ear - riding toward me. This is my prize. His joy and excitement, my confidence and accomplishment. This is the momentary payoff. Tomorrow I return to the round, the cycle of training, and the next race. Knowing a bit more about myself, growing, celebrating life thru what I can do. Amen.

Summer Garden Textures

2009-06-26T20:53:00.000-07:00

Summer Riding

2009-06-24T21:41:00.001-07:00

An afternoon ride. (sharp eyes might notice the pony tail is Gone!)

Rows & Rows of blueberries

They're getting ripe - won't be long now!

And there is still plenty of Rhubarb growing!

The wheat is turning gold, the purple clover is blooming. Aaah, summer!

Miscellaneous Race Notes

2009-06-23T21:12:00.001-07:00

There is only one more race at PIR for the June series - last night was the standard boring but safe 5 laps, followed by a lap of positioning and a sprint finish. Received my first lead out by a team mate, held her wheel a bit too long (eased off as she faded instead of powering thru - lesson learned) and ended up with 3rd. I'm glad our race was safe - tho it wasn't as kind to the Men's 1-2-3 field. Much less frustrating than last week's neutralized-thru-the-last-turns fiasco.

thanks to Jeff for grabbing some shots!

I've been out to the track as weather & training schedules allow. The new bike is such a significant improvement over the rentals, it's silly. My skills? I wish they improved as drastically. After a fabulous anniversary tandem ride, my body was very sore which made for a difficult practice. One really hard effort and it freaked me out - legs and brain shut down, all that energy went to hyper breathing that took about two laps to recover from. Need to figure out what it feels like to push thru that kind of effort. And even tho it looks like I hate it out there, that is far from true. I'm frustrated that I feel like such a novice, that progress is slow, and that the strength and endurance that I want to draw on simply vanish.

Other Favorite Things

2009-06-23T20:57:00.000-07:00

Food websites

my iPhone & various free apps

warm weather menus, full of grilled meats, salads, and simple whole foods

the new Love stamps

Mixin' drinks

2009-06-14T15:00:00.001-07:00

I recently saw a fruit salad dressing that mixed simple syrup, lime juice, chopped mint, and almond extract. This was so similar to a mojito, that it had to be explored.

Introducing the Amarejito!

Muddle fresh mint with turbinado sugar and lime juice. Add Amaretto, top with club soda. Sweet and delicious!

But - could this be topped, perhaps?

Apparently, yes. Just add a strawberry when muddling, and mix well. Divine!

Snaps

2009-06-12T12:58:00.001-07:00

A few more snaps of the bike, complete with custom filters ala iphone apps. Nearly a match to the car! Tonight ~ off to the races.

Super Fly

2009-06-10T18:10:00.001-07:00

Introducing: my new track bike!

This one isn't subtle. Lots of blue, a little red, and ready to roll. Tomorrow we'll ride out for the first time. I've been warned that the wheels will Not sneak up on anyone. They will announce my intentions with Authoritay!

I'm giddy.

When I left her, the seat post was on order and handle bars were getting some love. Tomorrow we'll dial it in. And then... we'll Fly!

The Tempest

2009-06-05T06:41:00.000-07:00

Summery blue sky marred by heavy gray. Rainfall coats the horizon in a blur.
The air smells of energy and pre-rain, as the fields eerily vanish beneith a ghostly layer of pollen and dust. The wind is upon us.

Trees bowing to the ferocity, whipped over by the strength of this sudden storm. Broadcast croaks out the warning - this is not a test. At home, loose objects are stored, windows are shut, and we sit safely inside. Waiting out the storm, watching from safe distances the raw and terrible power it holds.

We are safe, but awed. It is a lasting moment - reminding us that nothing is to be taken for granted. It is a refocusing of our perception, it washes clean the air. Gone is the lightening, gone the dangerous winds.

Returned are the birds, the smells of early summer, the cool of late spring evenings.

A tempest, reflecting life, reflecting those moments where everything changes, yet everything is very much as it was. It is only our outlook, our awareness, our response.

____________________________________________

For our club member Bruce who fell so brutally on Tuesday - continue to heal. Continue to fight. We continue to hope for lasting good news.

For KMac, we are so glad that you are on the rebound. Continue to bounce back, we know you'll return stronger than ever.

For my own arrogance - settle down. The arm pain is not tendinitis as expected, so it was of benefit that I had this checked. Nothing lasting, now that I know the cause, but something that will take a bit to heal from.

Good, Bad, and Ugly

2009-06-02T13:49:00.000-07:00

Fantastic club ride on Saturday. Weather was beautiful, and riding with friends can't be beat. We rode the Cedar Canyon loop in reverse, and it is simply a gorgeous ride. Once we finished, I made my way downtown, paid $10 for a parking space due to all of the activities in the area, and put down a deposit on my new track bike. So very excited!

The next day I joined Bike Central again at Alpenrose, this time riding With the group, rather than simply nearby. Many many laps, hard efforts, and good times later, I was tired. The day was getting hot and the tendinitis that was bothering my right arm was getting worse. I did my own mini cool down, and promptly got out of the sun. I grabbed food on the way home, iced my arm, and waited to hear how Matt's TTT went.

By Monday I was tired. Typing and holding a pencil or eating utensil were challenges. I started looking for excuses not to race, but packed up the car anyway. Thank goodness for a husband that keeps me on track! My few warm up laps are good - I put in a standing sprint effort, and take note of where I intend to start. It is difficult to shift, and ask a friend if he thinks I should race - conclusion is Yes, since braking isn't a problem. I chat with friends I've only met at PIR (Lisa, Anne, shoot me an email or find me on facebook!) and we prepare to race.

The first three laps are an uneventful paceline. #1 and #2 trade position a few times, but nothing else. I'm pretty sure I told myself how boring it was a few hundred times, but I was pleased to maintain 6th position and to keep the watts very low. There is one little effort on lap 4, I chased on, and then the bell rings a lap early. Things get a little more chaotic, but there is always a wheel for me to follow and I stay with those leading the pace. We turn into the wind one last time, exit, and here comes the sprint. Two go, just to my left. I pick up the pace, staying just behind (after deciding neither are my lead out) but keep a free line open. My personal sprint line approaches, and I try to shift. No one else is coming up, my competition is ahead of me. The hand simply can't push the lever over, so I stand up anyway for two or three quick revolutions, and back to seated. The two are a bit further ahead of me now, so I tuck in and push. The gap closes, the girl to the outside is falling back and there is only one more. She's close to the line, I keep pushing, and manage to get my wheel in front by the time we reach the finish. Wow. First win, from a seated spin in the same gear the prior 4 laps were raced in.

Then this morning the bad news started to roll in. Big crash in the women's Open field. Looks like Kristin is on the mend, and our hearts and prayers are with her for a full & speedy recovery.

And the ugly.

Just as that good news rolls in, word hits that one of our senior riders was in a freak wreck during the day's ride. A stick in the front wheel resulted in a broken bike which tossed him and left extensive injuries. From another rider's report:

"It is serious. Fortunately, our group of about 20 included two nurses - one with E.R. experience -- and a doctor. Paramedics responded to 911 call in maybe 10 minutes. Seemed like forever. Bruce's condition improved somewhat just before ambulance evac, but it is serious. We await some report from the SW Medical Center, just off Mill Plain" --D.K.

Bruce - our prayers are with you.

As beautiful as cycling is, the accidents can be tragic. To everyone ~ stay safe, stay upright, and ride on.

Friday Night Recap

2009-05-29T22:08:00.000-07:00

Today the new team gear arrived. This is my very deep pile. Matt has his own. Everything ordered was received, and all of my gear fits well. Not that my first skin suit doesn't reinforce the need to reduce the body fat percent, but then skin tight Lycra certainly doesn't lie. Yoiks.

The gear is Hawt. I like it a lot better than the mock ups I saw ~ can't wait to see the team show up in the new kit.

At three o'clock I stuffed my face during my last meeting of the day - making sure to take on fuel in advance of racing. I knew there would be no time to eat between getting home and leaving for the race. I was right, and minus one poorly timed bite (it was my turn to present - a little difficult with the mouthful) it worked out well.

I had a much longer warm up than the prior week, and it went much better. I still need to improve it Significantly from there, as I found out later during the races. Race one ~ way off the back. Lindsey (earning wins without batting an eye) lapped me, and I felt pa-the-tic. Race two wasn't much better, excepting I pushed so hard my quads wanted to barf when I was done. Race three felt slower, and I was able to stay in it. I finished mid pack, and once again completely forgot to stand up on the final sprint effort. I think I was also afraid that the legs didn't have anything else to give, so I didn't ask them to. But, my legs felt much better, and just *might* mean that they finally warmed up. ::roll eyes::

I received lots of great advice, avoided the one wreck in our field, and stayed cool enough & sunburn free on another hot night. Tomorrow? Club Ride, Wash all the new gear, and Bike Shopping.

452 different smells on a sneezy ride

2009-05-28T20:56:00.000-07:00

Driving home in the 87 degree weather we quickly decided to make tonight's rolling recovery a late ride. So we got home, and had a green salad with sauteed chicken, various fruits, spicy pecans, and honey sesame sticks. So good we both had seconds.

By 7pm we were ready to head out, and it cooled off enough to be comfortable. I don't know if it was the late hour, or simply the fact that Everything is in bloom right now, but the ride was a constant bombardment of fragrance and small bugs. From roses to horses to dead skunk to hay to underbrush ~ it was a constant and changing experience. Achoo, I say. By the final stretch home, the sun was low on the horizon and it was nice and cool in the shadows.

Tomorrow looks to be just as warm. Time to buy more sunscreen, and start the long mental preparation for track night.

Ride Reports

2009-05-24T15:26:00.000-07:00

Saturday ~ club ride, 19s, over a very hilly loop. I managed to stay close enough to the group that I wasn't relegated to dropping down to the next pack, and even tho I was slow I was able to ride and finish strong. 40 miles, and about 3500 feet of climbing. We had a fabulous group & a lot of fun on the route. I felt good when we finished, appropriately tired, but none of the nearly-falling-over nonsense. We sat outside at Longbottom's chatting for good a long while; Bob and son rode over for breakfast, and he very kindly pointed out that I should accept Jen's invitation to join Bike Central at the track the next day. Thank you Bob.

I'm so glad I did.

Sunday ~ I managed to get a bike from the trailer, hauled my too-much-stuff to the infield, and did some warm up laps. Then Lynn took me under her wing, and I tried to absorb everything she told me. I was finally able to settle down on the track, and to remain calm as we pushed thru the various drills. Soft left elbow, looking thru the turns, standing, and eventually rolling with the paceline for the cool down. It. Was. Awesome! I owe the team a million thanks for letting me roll with them, and for being so kind and supportive. I was unexpectedly complimented ~ and am still aglow for the experience.

Now? It's time to shop for a bike!

Alpenrose Fail

2009-05-22T21:01:00.000-07:00

Foreground: my rental bike, as I waited for the novice women call up.

Warmup - I really don't know what I'm doing, so I ride a bunch of laps, go hard once or twice, and notice a slew of potentially dangerous problems... my legs won't turn quickly, my breathing won't relax, my brain is shutting off. If it's not these, I'm making stupid mistakes like, say, wanting to stop and coast as I'm above the stair line in the middle of turn two... or exiting to the apron at too high speed and barely recovering before going back on to the wall between turns three and four. I'm an accident waiting to happen, my legs are tight, and I'm very nervous. Warmup laps, break. Warmup, break. repeat ~ and during each break try to focus, calm down, and remember what it takes to ride safely out here.

The racing starts, flying 200s to seed the sprinters. Before I know what's happened, they are calling up novice women for a win-and-out. Bwah?! I'm not ready. It is too early! I'm so not ready. I grab the bike, do two quick laps around the warmup track then head to the rail. After a neutral lap, race on. First one to cross the line has won, and is done. Next lap takes second, and so on until everyone finishes.

The neutral roll out starts, and I'm near the back. Legs act like they've never done this before. My position is... still at the back. I'm lost, I feel stuck, and I'm barely hanging on as the speed picks up. This is not me. My breathing is a shuddering, panic-y mess. I can't even remember to relax, I'm just trying to stick with the group, and watching the laps continue and winners ride off. Then it gets worse, toes and calf cramp, and I pull myself out. I can't possibly do 8 more laps like this, and given my current output it'll be at least that many.

I roll off the back stretch, into the grass and lay the bike down. It doesn't move again until I exit the bowl. My toes are all curled up and painful - I keep drinking electrolytes & water, get my breathing under control, and admit that I am done for the night.

I watch the remainder of the races, educating myself and absorbing all I can - so that Sunday's training will go more smoothly, and next Friday I will leave "freaked-the-hell-out" self at home.

A Wedding

2009-05-19T17:41:00.000-07:00

This weekend was a whirlwind vacation to Miami, where our dear friends Danny & Irena said I Do. It is impossible for me to describe how beautiful the day was, or how in love they are with each other. Happily there are plenty of photos that describe it far better than I ever could. Happy honeymooning, you two!

I was prepared for the amount of work this weekend would take. All the chaos of a destination wedding, the million last minute details, the emotion, the various family dynamics... wasn't quite ready for that little sleep, but managed thru somehow... nor spending very little time with Matt, even tho he was always nearby and ready to lend a hand.

What I wasn't prepared for was the ginormous hug I got the instant we got to the hotel and to be immersed in friendships, old and brand new, from the moment we arrived. It was like slipping on your favorite pair of old worn in jeans that you thought you'd lost, having them fit perfectly, and finding a $20 in the pocket. I'm quite happily bewildered.

Happy Birthday G!

2009-05-11T11:24:00.000-07:00

Turns out the Fancy Dessert I grew up with was a BH&G dish. who knew?!
Instead of one large torte, I made (with the help of the fabulously talented 'Berly) mini meringue cookies that would fit inside individual footed glasses, perfect for trifle-like desserts.

Chocolate Torte Royale

Ingredients
1 pack (6-ounce) semisweet chocolate pieces
2 Beaten egg yolks
¼ cup Water
1 cup Whipping cream
¼ cup Sugar
¼ teaspoon Cinnamon
2 Egg whites
½ teaspoon Vinegar*
¼ teaspoon Salt
½ cup Sugar
¼ teaspoon Cinnamon

*raspberry red wine vinegar was a success!

Source: Better Homes and Gardens New Cookbook

Cinnamon Meringue Shell: Beat 2 egg whites with 1/2 teaspoon vinegar and 1/4 teaspoon salt till frothy. Blend 1/2 cup sugar and 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon; add to egg whites a little at a time, beating to very stiff peaks. Cover cookie sheet with heavy paper. Trace 8-inch circle in center. Spread meringue on circle; shape into shell-make bottom 1/2 inch thick and mound around edge to 1 3/4 inches high. Bake at 275 degrees for 1 hour. Turn off heat; let dry in oven (door closed) 2 hours.

Melt chocolate over hot water. Cool slightly; spread 2 tablespoons over bottom of cooled meringue. (This isn't nearly enough chocolate for this step, honestly)

To remaining chocolate, add egg yolks and water; blend; chill till thick. Combine cream, sugar, and cinnamon; whip till stiff. Spread half over chocolate in shell; fold remainder into chocolate mixture, spread on top. Chill several hours or overnight.
Makes 8 to 10 servings.

Our presentation yielded 6 servings. I should have doubled the amount of whipped cream to really fill up those glasses.
Layers: Chocolate covered meringue, chocolate mousse, cinnamon whipped cream, and another chocolate covered meringue.

Photo, courtesy the birthday girl herself

Velodrome - First Race

2009-05-08T22:00:00.000-07:00

It's Friday night, and a couple of hours ago I raced my first race out at the Alpenrose Velodrome.

Last week I attended the Women's clinic, my first time on a fixie & on the velodrome. It was Awesome. Lap set 1 - I'm the last person in our groupetto, and the train stretches and slows before every turn, where you want the power. By the third or fourth lap I start "encouraging" the woman in front of me to go faster. She would sweep way up the wall, then back down again in front of my wheel. This was nerve-wracking enough to send my teammate home - he couldn't watch. Lap set 2 I put myself on the instructor's wheel, and held it, as we pushed lap after lap thru the sprinters lane. So much fun, and I still wanted to go faster. A quick break, and we went out again, this time high and low thru the bowl. Unfortunately, near the end of our set the last bit of the virus/fatigue that kept me down weeks previous caught up - and I decided to cautiously exit and call it a day. Unfortunately, that meant I missed out on the mass start race. But I watched, I cheered, and I was able to mark the race winner very early on. I drove home with a Huge grin on my face, and had to consciously keep my speed in check.

I grew up with roller coasters. Big ones. I love them ~ and this is the only experience I've had that could compete with the rush... because on this you get to Control the speed and dives and climbs. You get to Fly.

Not surprisingly, the excitement returned as soon as Friday Night Race at the Track showed up in my training plan. I was excited All Day. I told everyone that would listen that I was racing Friday Night! Everything was fantastic, until I got my rental bike down to the infield.

What am I doing? I've never gone up on the track on my own. I have no spedometer ~ I have No Idea if I'm going fast enough, and I'm quickly losing courage to try. I am feeling Way in over my head, and it takes a bit of encouragement to get out there. I ride around the apron, noodling with the rest. I stop for another pep talk. Fortunately Bob is getting ready to go back out, and he takes me with him.

Aaaah ~ I Can do it! I follow his wheel for a few laps, and then he sprints away to open up his legs. Mine are feeling heavy - yesterday was much more effort than my prescribed recovery ride, due to the severe winds blowing thru. We regroup, and this time he talks me thru the lines I should take for this race. He talks me thru as we ride the lines. Hints here, a warning there. I repeat it in my mind. We get off the track and races start. The announcer talks us all thru the lines the first racer takes - exactly as Bob describes. I watch him cross the line, and in my mind I stop pedaling. I cannot stop pedaling! That is sure disaster, and I split my time waiting between mentally racing my lines, and telling myself to NOT Stop pedaling!

Nearly everyone goes ~ I watch, I get on the warmup track, and keep up the internal monologues. Finally they call my name. I get in line, Matt asks if he should shout at me to not stop, and I decline. I'm ready. My mental race carries thru.

I'm released. I roll slowly to the back field, not sure where the racer that just finished will exit. As soon as she does, I jump on the track and get the speed up. I'm following the blue line - realizing only now that's probably higher than I needed for that moment. Out to the rail, check. Up high and to the far rail, check and check. Bring the speed up - woah, I'm pretty tired. The bell rings, the announcer informs us that this is my first 200. I try to step on the gas, but find I'm just trying to hang on. High to low, and I don't drop fast enough. I am too high, I miss the mark I'm aiming for, but keep going and get in the sprinters lane as soon as possible. Holy dead legs - push push - they are so heavy! Here's corner 3, and as warned it spits me out. I attempt to regain the lane and keep going - trying to dig deep, only to find nothing there. I'm out of gas, and start slowing just before the finish. Not quite the race my mind drew, but respectable for my first time out. I finish with 17.66 seconds on the clock, on an ill fitting $5 rental bike, shabby saddle, my legs hurt, my toes in my right foot are cramping, my breathing is raspy - turning quickly to coughing fits, and I can't wait to do it again!

(video evidence to follow)

the Unexpected

2009-04-19T09:00:00.001-07:00

I have now gone a full week, and only 45 minutes on the bike total. This was an unexpected time off ~ a weird string of not feeling well that only progressively got worse. No official word on what I'm fighting, but the appetite has vaporized and energy levels are at the low water mark. I'm writing this post this morning instead of participating in my second time trial. I am hoping to be better by next Sunday, so I can head out to Alpenrose & learn how to ride the velodrome.

However, it is sunny and springy outside. Tulips and Daffodils are flourishing, bugs are once again splattered on the windshield, sunblock is back as a daily staple, and bbq season is about to commence.

Yeast Love

2009-04-03T18:07:00.000-07:00

I acknowledge and appreciate the no-gluten movement. However, there is a fundamental part of me that purely enjoys a fabulous, yeasty wheat bread. I've tried two new recipes the past few weeks, and they are worth sharing.

First - Focaccia. http://www.thepauperedchef.com/2009/03/focaccia-the-easiest-homemade-bread.html
Yum. Easy ~ I did start mine in the bread machine on dough setting, but had I not been keeping an eye on it, it might have easily risen beyond the capacity of my machine and created a horrendous mess. (woah, deja vous - I think this exact case happened to me in a dream!) My only customization was to pan roast some garlic cloves, and use the "smash between fingers then rub over the top of the dough" application. A subtle garlic flavor in every bite!

Second - Stuffed Pizza with Ease! http://www.evilmadscientist.com/article.php/StuffedPizza
I did not make my own dough, what with trying to make this after work and workout (note that did not give enough time to prep & eat dinner before 8:30pm) and the fact that New Seasons has some pretty great organic pizza dough read to go in the refrigerator section. I made the regular / large size in order to maintain the thinnest crust.

My pizza was stuffed with:

chicken breast cooked in Seeds of Change Roasted Red Pepper Dressing
Kalmata Olives
Sundried Tomato
Chevre
Mozarella
(insert additional veg to delight yourself - more red peppers, roasted or otherwise, or spinach, or artichoke hearts, or mushrooms...)

and then topped with a Roasted Red Pepper Dressing + Tomato Sauce Sauce. YUM. I really like how clean this pizza comes out. I do have a small springform, but not the 4" they suggest. This recipe just might entice me to pick some up! Next time I will probably brush the pan with melted butter + olive oil, along with the top of the pie to increase golden brown deliciousness.

Comments Fixed

2009-04-03T18:05:00.000-07:00

The comments section was broken. I had to revert widgets to restore this ~ in case it happens to you. (Save a copy of your template, then revert.)

Road Race 1

2009-03-29T18:13:00.000-07:00

Piece of Cake, Woodland Washington
Blue sky, threatening heavy dark clouds, 50some degrees.
And Windy. Flags full out, heavy constant wind.

We rolled in to Woodland, pinned on the numbers and started the warm up. I reevaluate my clothing, and strip the wool knee warmers and a base layer. This was a good choice. Matt's race starts, and I have 20 minutes before mine goes.

I find a few friends, one team mate, and we chat briefly about how the race will go. I'm right up front at the start line, and stay at the front thru the neutral roll out. Around the first corner and things pick up very slightly. The wind from the side is brutal. Around the next turn, and speed plummets as we push against the headwind. I'm still near the front, and it feels slow. There is some bumping and sketchy movement next to me, so I decide to move up one place. That little effort sends me sailing to the front, and I immediately know it is a mistake. I shouldn't be in the front. I'm not working this race for anyone but myself, and yet here I am pulling the train. It is lonely up here. Why did I do it? Why didn't I sit up? Rookie mistake. And I knew it every pedal stroke that I sat up there.

As we near the end of the road, a small rise and left turn ahead of us - and the train of ladies in green push it in to high gear. This is the break. This is the effort - I know that I have to stick with the pack, and I push my now tired legs, hoping that they have enough to latch on. They don't. Glancing over my shoulder, I see the last few ladies behind me, followed by cars. They all pass me. I try again to catch a wheel - and fail. For the effort my nose starts to run. I clear it out, and find that it's bleeding. I've splattered my entire right quad with blood. It would be far less visible had I left the knee warmers on. I slow down, alternating which hand attempts to stop the blood loss. Off the back is pretty lonely too.

I'm making calculations - trying to decide how long to let the nose go before I need to stop. Fortunately, it doesn't take too long and I keep going. I can see one woman in front of me - waaaaay down the road. The men's race is in the opposite lane coming at me, and I look for Matt. He was in there, but I missed him. No way he missed me here, all by myself. I chase her down the straight away, taking 4 or 5 miles to catch her. I ask if she would like to work together, and she agrees. We trade off pulling, and my sight is set on the group of two in front of us. By the time we get thru the back section, I've worked thru the wind and lost my partner. Now I have to drop way back or keep pushing to catch the next two. I push. I pass Matt's group again, he asks if I'm okay. He must have seen the blood on my leg - I wonder how much is on my face. I nod, and keep chasing.

I am alone as I ride past the finish line, and am very happy that in this race I only have 1 lap to go. By the time I reach the road I made my huge mistake on, I've caught them. It was a long effort to get there, and they're hurting at least as much as I am. The main field is no where in sight. One of the two is very tall, and she suffers in the wind. I ask if I can rotate in, and they're both happy to have me. They each make huge pulls at the front, and I suggest a 1 min paceline. This helps imensely.

Unfortunately, the wind took out the tall girl in the same location I lost the previous one. The two of us that remain agree that it's too large of a gap to sit up for, and we press on. One final long hard push into a combination head & side wind that leaves no position for recovery. I took a pull, floated left to let her by, and was tired enough that I didn't realize the wind was pushing me right back in to her. We avoided disaster, and I apologize profusely. Right hand turn down a small hill, with a tail wind, and our speed jumps. We're chatting, we get passed by a number of men, and finally reach the approach to the finish.

With two hundred meters to go, I push hard. I don't sprint, but I want to know what my legs have left after that pain. My seat hurts, and I can hardly wait to get off the bike. A friend cheers for me at the finish - a friend that finished far in front of me. I roll by my team mate, she was able to stick with the pack up to their sprint finish ~ a job well done.

I'm satisfied - that I finished, that I chased and caught and helped organize our way back. I know I made a rediculous mistake - and I know I need to work on patience, observation, and persistence. But for now, I finished, and even tho I wasn't with the pack I finished strong.

Parsnip Apple Cake

2009-03-29T08:58:00.000-07:00

Carrots used to be my favorite vegetable. Grandma's vegetable garden always had carrots, and I remember many summers when I'd go out, pluck a carrot from the earth, rinse it at the hose, and snack away. Imagine my surprise years later when I had my first parsnip, and found it was the essence of carrot. I love parsnip season, the white flesh, the powerhouse of flavor, the abundance and versatility of this root vegetable.

I picked up a parsnip while shopping last week, and didn't have any specific plan for it. I had baked goods on my mind, and considered an oatmeal parsnip muffin, but that sounded heavy. I started digging thru the recipe books, and pulled out the ol' Good Housekeeping for inspiration. I took their carrot cake recipe and made it my own. By adding one peeled & grated granny smith apple (another reminder of grandma, who lived in apple country WA,) the flavors were bright, the cake came out light and soft, and not overly sweet. I reduced the sugar, changed the amount of oil, and spiced it to my taste.

Enjoy!

Parsnip Apple Cake
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mix Wet Ingredients:

1 1 /2 cups sugar
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/4 cup butter, melted
1/4 cup greek yogurt, plain
1/2 tsp. hazelnut rum

Combine Dry Ingredients:

2 cups flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. alspice
1 pinch cardamom
6 grinds white pepper corns
(Or any combo of your favorite baking spices)

Add wet to dry - until just mixed. Stir in:

about 3 cups parsnip, grated (from 1 large parsnip)
1 tart apple, peeled and grated
Nuts, optional

Pour into prepared cake tins (greased & floured).
Bake 350 for 30+ mins, depending on size of cakes

Does not require icing ~ tho a sprinkle of powdered sugar is nice.

Sluggish

2009-03-25T15:54:00.001-07:00

i'm feeling a bit sluggish.

there are a number of things that i've been avoiding, like brushing my dogs teeth and tackling the giant dust-rhinoceros that is hiding under the kitchen table.

there are many things that i'm doing. beyond the little bits of art work and sheduling a May getaway, work feels busier, workouts are getting longer, and energy is running out. by 7pm i'm done, even tho there are a handful of things i probably should be doing instead of turning in to sofa sludge. but i'm not.

race fail

2009-03-15T16:25:00.000-07:00

There are plenty of excuses. Not tent = no warm up. Legs that feel like granite from Go, and never really improve. Rain, Wind, Soggy Roads = tons of grime, hydroplaning. Boot covers holding 500% their weight in water, every pedal stroke my foot sloshes in the shoe. A small pack off the back that has no clue how to work together. An aggravatingly slow lap, legs that won't warm up, and knowing that two more laps would be hypothermic torture. I won't catch anything but a cold. My legs already hurt - I see them giving out miles from the car. It's another 11 miles or none, there is no shortcut. So this drowned rat jumped ship, right after the first lap. I changed, and figured I made the right decision.

I sat in the car, trying to absorb the heat. To stop shivering. Distracting myself from facing a quitter. Then my friends and team rolled in. The stories started to flow, the joys and triumphs. I had nothing to add, I couldn't swap stories for I had nothing to tell. Agrivation set in.

I'm frustrated. I don't know if it hurts worse that I gave up, or that I know that there is nothing else I could have done to hang with the pack.

Here's hoping a flat race goes better.

Completion

2009-03-14T18:10:00.001-07:00

Simple supplies.

Ribbon, embroidery floss, beads.

With a square of fabric ~ the weeping cherry tree.

très bien

2009-03-09T20:11:00.000-07:00

I lack the appropriate language to describe how I'm feeling.
I am content, proud, happy, in love, at peace, energized, and amazed.
This list is incomplete, but must suffice.

I've been creating ~ words and foods and art.
It is bliss.

Saturday evening I sat in my craft room, dogs at my feet.

With a blank canvas, needle and thread, and my favorite female artists via Pandora. Before long, a weeping cherry tree sprouted and grew limbs.

My skill is not in drawing with ink, but ribbon and thread. With immense satisfaction, channeling some past life, I was able to sprout a tree. There are still branches and blooms to grow, but I can see it, and I long to set it free.

there grows a weeping cherry tree

its roots spread deep and strong, while

branches bowing graceful low, to play the spring's wind song.

Tonight, after a fantastic kettlebelle (core1) workout, I made dinner. It was a dance in the kitchen ~ a dash of this, a scoop of that, chopping and slicing, sauteing and baking. I'd reach out for a dish, and found myself completing three more tasks before I realized I'd finished the first, and yet it was placed exactly where I needed it. Cooking sans recipe works for me, and produced a fantastic balance of flavors. Ginger Chipotle Fajitas with baked sweet potato. delish! This chipotle sauce is now a staple in my pantry.

At Work we have a new internal blog tool ~ and being the instigator that I am, I created my blog and started sending invites to colleagues to join me. Of course, I had to come up with a Name for the thing, which took me most of the afternoon (multi-tasking! I got a lot done while thinking about this) before I finally decided. Then, a first post, and both were exactly what they needed to be. No worrying, no regret, no wishing I'd come up with something different. Simply at ease. I received a wonderful compliment from my boss (hi, boss!) and was secretly thrilled when I peeked in right before leaving and found I had 53 views!

And finally, amoureux. I adore my husband. I love that we continue to grow closer, to enjoy each other, to laugh and play and smile and be so perfect together. That it can grow, that we are here, now, and not in a rut - that I look forward to his smile, to his humor, to his affection...

bliss.

What's for dinner?

2009-03-04T08:53:00.000-08:00

Salad. An ode to Trader Joe's, apparently!
A little spicy, a little more sweet. I'm sure this is more indulgent than strictly healthy, but it was so tasty that we both went back for seconds. No photos, just the memory of delicious flavor and a reminder why this should be a year-round go-to meal.

Start with two chicken breasts
chop, poach in broth with cayenne pepper till cooked thru. drain.
mix about 1/3 c low sugar Raspberry Jam, one tsp orange zest, and a heavy splash of Trader Joe's Orange Muscat Champagne Vinegar
pour over chicken and return to heat until sauce reduces, leaving chicken nicely glazed

Tear up green leaf lettuce
Dice two pears
Divide between bowls
Drizzle with olive oil and Orange Muscat Champagne Vinegar
Pile on a hearty serving of Chicken
Toss in dried raisins &/or cranberries
Sprinkle on a handful of Trader Joe's Honey Sesame snack sticks
Top it all with Trader Joe's Spicy Sweet Pecans

Enjoy!

Mix it up with Your favorite fruits, nuts, jams, and vinegar.

Green

2009-03-04T08:38:00.000-08:00

I like winter. I used to claim to love winter ~ what I loved was a romanticized Victorian Christmas fantasy that would linger for months. Halls decked, the cheerful and generous spirit, rosy cheeks, and everything merry and bright. While that is perfect on a post card, or on the few days of snow that do fall, winter rarely lingers as such.

So that by St. Valentine's Day, when cupid attacks with hearts and roses pink and red, I am ready for spring. It is hard not to get ahead of the season, but that dirty rodent is sure to pop up and force another 6 dreary, drizzly weeks on us.

But it is March. March is green, fresh, and full of singing birds returning from their travels. A new bird has set up in a tree nearby, and it has an amazing variety of songs. When I stepped outside the other day, I expected to look up and see 15 different birds, but there was only one chirping away, song after song in a mad attempt to find the one that earns a response.

Spring is coming. And so I celebrate the transition by sipping a spicy cocoa blend from my favorite spring mug.

4x4 vo2

2009-02-27T16:16:00.000-08:00

Within a 90 minute workout I had four 4min efforts at vo2max, the zone just before going anaerobic.

round 1 - Struggle to find the zone, struggle to keep it. Legs complain, lactic acid building up quickly making them heavy and slow. Brain complains, doubt is heavy inside, and I nearly throw in the towel. But there are only two minutes left, you can do anything for 2 minutes, right? Keep going, keep hurting, keep pushing until the final five seconds tick by.

Recovery - slow the legs, jump to a Much easier gear, and focus on breathing to get the heart rate down.

round 2 - The mind and body want to find the path of least resistance. Working at this level is the opposite of Want. Some form of Just Do It (rhymes with "shut up, self") and I keep going. I mean, I finished the first one, right? Keeping watts in the zone is a struggle. I am missing the gear that facilitates this activity on the trainer. I flip between hard/slow pedal strokes and quick/easier - neither are ideal, but slow tends to be my best opportunity at staying where I need to be. Another minute. Grueling churn, recognition that this is my moment for pain, and the countdown begins with 20 seconds to go.

Recovery - a little bit of gasping, a lot of coasting, and try to get back to the Endurance zone as quickly as possible.

round 3- It takes a bit to ramp up, to get the power where it belongs. Legs Do Not Want. It doesn't matter, this is happening anyway. Into the heavy gear, the second highest I've got, and find a groove. Any distraction - scratching my leg, a random thought, blinking.. and the watts drop below zone. I yell at myself "come on!" as if that will help get back to the zone. It is a slow four minutes. Feel the burn. Whatever.

Another break. I've nearly finished off the water bottle. Sweaty, tired, one to go.

round 4 - again, slow to ramp up to power. I find myself standing a few times to break the effort. Get up & go, pedal, try to groove, mutter "c'mon!" and keep going. My seat is sore ~ the friction of riding indoors has added up in a painful way, and trying to push with That Much force irritates. Slow going. I will the movie to break into a fast song, but it doesn't. This is a struggle without tunes. I crank it out, but the final few seconds have dropped below the zone and I can't bring them back. I consider trying, extending to make up for those 5 seconds, but recover instead.

Well over an hour into it, and I Finally feel like I'm warmed up. I'm ready to go, I could try that interval again. Runner's High or insanity? It is a struggle to remain in the saddle and in the endurance zone for the remainder of my workout, but I finish. A quick change, and I'm throwing dinner together. Chipotle Raspberry Chicken & Poblano Nachos with fresh Whack-a-mole. (Not Junk Food) Carbs, Meats, Vegetation, a little dairy cheese, and a whole lotta flavor.

By the time dinner is over, I'm Very sleepy. I fall asleep reading a book, legs cramping. I apply the Rolling Stick, and that improves Significantly. I sleep well, and my legs actually feel great today. Hoorah. Now I need to go jump in the saddle for a 90 minute recovery ride. Spin away.

Kitchen Confessions

2009-02-25T09:21:00.000-08:00

veggie hate

I do not like broccoli. Steamed, stir fried, raw? Gross. I'm okay with broccoli soup, so long as that flavor isn't overtly predominant. Yes, I know it's good for me. I still don't like it. I agree with Dr. Hibbert on this one: "One of the deadliest plants on Earth. Why, it tries to warn you itself with its terrible taste." Okay, maybe not the deadliest part - but the rest is spot on.

Peas - there are two instances when these rollypolly green things show up in food I make. Chicken Pot Pie, or Pasta Primavera. That said, No bite can be peas only. Ew. Let's blame this on growing up where a side of peas was a given. Snap Pea Pods will show up in a stir fry, but I can only handle a few before I want to gag. Maybe I need to cut those into smaller pieces so I can have more than one flavor on the fork?

Give me spinach! Give me hearty, leafy greens, even string beans! Red or golden peppers, a nicely roasted squash, even roast cauliflower! Just please, no peas or broccolis.

I probably don't eat enough veggies. My main intake is dinner. Can't bring myself to v8 or otherwise "indulge" at breakfast, and sometimes lunch just misses the mark, unless it is explicitly salad. Maybe I can resolve that by coming up with a quiche & salad lunch option? Sounds like a weekend baking project.

storage fail

My veggie drawer becomes a veggie graveyard. I forget what is in there. Even if I plan out menus, there is a high likelihood that Something will be forgotten, and get a little funky before it finds the trash.

My freezer is only slightly less of a dead end than the veggie drawer. I'm getting better at using frozen chicken breast purchased in bulk. But that place is a one way ticket for other cuts of meat. The few frozen veggies I buy have a 50% chance of being used.

Worst of all are leftovers. Rarely are these consumed. I try - honestly - to make appropriate portions for the two of us, but it's not always the easiest task. I know it would be useful to consume leftovers, how wonderful to use that food for a healthy lunch option! But, that seems to fail more often than not. Sometimes the meal just wasn't good enough to revisit. (I'll admit, there has been a bit of a slump lately.) Other times, even if it was good - it no longer is by the time it comes out of the microwave. And then, what's the point?

I feel very wasteful. American. In the way anyone from any other country would see us. There is a certain shame in food gone to waste.

dishes suck

I have not achieved mis en place for - I was going to say 'the kitchen,' but that would be lying. I have applied this to One Shelf for my purse & things. Instead, I am prioritizing work, working out, refueling, and then resting. I feel slightly lazy on that last note, but it is keeping me from being overwhelmed. Somewhere in the balance of time, money, and effort - cleaning up is only getting the scraps of effort. It is a little embarrassing, but there you go.

I can't even admit how far behind I am. It is bad. Do not visit.

So what changes?

small steps

The kitchen table is No Longer a dumping ground. Mail does not go there. After work stuff doesn't go there. Because... If it is clear, we can eat dinner at the table. If we can eat dinner at the table, we're more likely to get up together and stick the damn dishes in the dishwasher. Then we can turn around and wash the few hand washes, wipe off the stove, and the kitchen is ready for whatever comes next.

We'll see if this trickle down dish theory works in practice.

and a new challenge

I've never done lent. I've never been catholic, so it wasn't even on the radar ifyouknowwhatimean. But here is an opportunity to do something for a specific length of time. My challenge to myself is No Junk Food. Because last week after chatting w/ my sweetie about wanting to eat better I ended up ordering a Wendy's #6 with Frosty, medium. Yurk. So ~ here's to no junk food. I'm not totally depriving myself, there will still be a Small bite of Quality chocolate or a nibble of coconut milk faux ice cream, but not bars, not bowls, and certainly no greasy paper bag and cardboard container meals.

Jack Frost TT

2009-02-22T17:39:00.000-08:00

Saturday - easy 2 hour club ride with friends. A few efforts, but overall a calm and flat ride.

Sunday - Vancouver Lake. 50 degrees and 70% chance of rain all day, but we luck out. Not too cold, a bit of wind.

I didn't sleep well. I never sleep well pre-race. I'm tossing and turning until midnight, thinking about sleep, willing it to happen. I wake up by 4am - at most 4 hours of REM. I try to keep relaxed, eyes closed, and hope 7am happens soon so I can justify getting out of bed. I'm nervous. I try to not think about the race, since that increases the jitters. Oatmeal and juice and water. Pack the yogurt and "recovery" hershey special dark chocolate milk. We kill time, waiting till 9 to finish putting the last few items in the car. It's cloudy but dry. I receive a very kindly written email from a dear friend, titled "You are an Athlete." It was the perfect pick-me-up.

The parking lot is packed - we luck out when a guy warming up in his tent motions to us, scoots his tent over and allows us to wedge in to a little spot only the MiniCoop would fit in - just a few spaces down from our team tent. We haul out the bikes, trainers, helmets, shoes, bags, food, chair, and misc. gear. I make camp on top of the cooler & eat a cup of greek yogurt. I try not to think much about the race, but I'm nervous and it isn't getting any better. Between that & staying hydrated, I visit the portapotty a few times, grubmling over the park restrooms that are 'Closed for the Season.' Ugh.

Matt starts his warmup - I have a half hour before I need to jump on. The sun makes the clouds and lake glow various shads of beige. Maybe it's just the amber tinted glasses, but it's beautiful. One tiny little sprinkle is the only hint of rain so far - we are hopeful and the road is dry.

On the trainer. I double check my warmup, and realize I'm a little short on time. Cut even shorter by having to pee, again. But I know that needs to take priority, there is no room for a full bladder in a race. At 12:15 by my watch, I get out on the road. I make a few passes, two sprint efforts, and roll back toward the start - I want to ask the guys who've finished just how wide the turn around is. As I'm rolling past the start line, they call my name. The line holds a space for me 2 from the front - I am on in 1 minute. I thought I had more time. I see my friend two spaces behind my slot - my goal is to prevent her from catching me for as long as possible. I pull in behind a tiny girl with braids in white and yellow on a very shiny TT bike. 30 seconds - she is released. She isn't pedaling, and almost falls over! They shout at her to go - and she saves it, barely.

I roll up. The guy on my left braces my arm, holding me up until I clip in. The guy behind me is holding the saddle rails, wheel between his legs, to keep me upright. "Are you square?" Um... yeah, almost. They help me while I scoot a fraction to the right, and now I'm on the seat. Pedals ready. In 5, 4, 3, 2, putting pressure on the pedals, 1 I try to go and Zeor - my bike is free and I push out the gate. I stand, get it up to speed and settle in. The poor girl in front of me isn't that far away, and I'm gaining.

I check my numbers - watts are 220-250, well above my goal, so I settle back a bit. For the first 30 seconds my mind wants to know what insanity has led me here - why I think I belong in this race, and wouldn't it feel good just to pull off, and Not turn right to stay on course? My legs have other ideas, and spin a bit harder to shut her the hell up.

I'm still gaining. Around the right hand turn, and it's easy to pedal. I catch the petite TT before we pass the finish line, not even a half mile into the race. I make it to the big right hand turn, a very fast corner, and take it tight but avoiding the pothole. I crank it thru the corner as I hear them cheer for me by name. Not long after, I see M coming toward me, nearly done with his race. "Woo!" I shout, and I guess I was smiling. Heh.. guess the pain hadn't started yet.

I keep going, and in a moment I'm passed by a woman on a very Aero bike with a very pointy helmet. That's okay - she's TT, I'm just a hack in her first race on a road bike. But it took her a while to catch me.. I must be doing okay. Watts are in control, I try to keep it close to my target of 178 functional threshold watts, but I keep going over. That's okay right? What with the tail wind, maybe this will help me out since the return will be a struggle.

I keep going, powering over the little undulations, never resting the legs. I have a side stitch down the right side of my rib cage - boy would stretching help that. My right leg's IT band is burning, but I'm not going to ease off. Two more true TT women pass by the turn around, just over the half way point. It's in a parking lot, there are cones set up that give a nice wide turn. I am thru, a little slower than I should, but I didn't get to scout it before hand. I jump back up to speed, and notice how close my friend is behind me. A half mile down the road she passes, and calls out encouragement. There is no drafting - but I drop no more than 200 yards behind her.

Up ahead - what? Someone is going a slower, I watch my friend pass her. A few minutes more, and I know I can too - I ramp up the power and I pass maintaining about 250w. Into a headwind. It's a struggle, but I'm managing to keep my power up, trying to maintain 190-200.

The wind blows hard - there is no shelter. I get down in the drops, tuck in my elbows and shoulders and head. Heels down. With the visor I can see only 4 yards in front of my wheel, so every 15 sec or so I glance down the road and keep pedaling. The Fall Out Boys are in my head - This ain't a Breeze, it's a #%&@ Head Wind! But it's a beat I can pedal to.

On the right is the driveway we turned around in this morning. The end is near. I see a little left hand turn, and psyche myself out thinking it's the last left before the finish. Not quite, but not far. Pushing harder, wanting to pull my friend back as much as possible before that white line. 1k to go. I try not to get too excited, to save something for the final burst ~ might have saved too much?

200m - go go go go go! Seated acceleration. Not a sprint really, but I felt darn fast riding past the finish. No air to shout my number, so I'll just have to hope they caught it. I didn't catch my friend, but she didn't finish too far in front of me. I roll up next to her, energized and ready for another effort. What?? She's gasping, slow - I put my hand on her back, congratulate her, and roll back to the tent.

It's too easy to ride my endurance zone on the way back in. My legs aren't shot. I don't feel like puking. Dang, guess I had more to give. But for a first effort, not too bad. In total, I think 6 women passed me. I overtook two. It looks like I pulled 12.145miles, 37 and a half minutes, 19.4 mph avg at 187w average. 9w over ftp! Looks like that baseline might reset some of my zones.

Turns out my friend wasn't who I thought it was? I guess she didn't race, because she Killed It with an awesome finish the day before. So - whoever you were with the short hair and encouragement, thank you for being my rabbit. Great race!

Dragonfly for Me

2009-02-19T12:34:00.001-08:00

A little ETSY find, ala http://lillyella.blogspot.com/

another ride

2009-02-16T18:57:00.000-08:00

It's silly how extensively different performance on the bike can feel one day to the next.

Saturday was fabulous. Not freezing, tho there were efforts where I could see every exhale, but not nearly warm enough to be mistaken for spring. We rode the Cedar Canyon loop, and I was strong. Not the last man thru the hills - not by far. I even caught up with the second to front fraction of our group in a downhill push... and managed to bring on a minor nose bleed when attempting to blow away the congestion, but that just means it's hard core, right? 42 miles, just shy of the 3 hours I needed for the day. It seemed a little windy, but I didn't have my typical 80% speed reduction, so either it wasn't bad or I'm a lot stronger now.

Sunday morning is Very cold and Rainy. A combination that I avoid. So, we jump on the trainers before breakfast, see if we can get a little indoor ride in to start the day. By 30 minutes I'm running out of juice - nothing left. Even the little on bike snack couldn't carry me thru. Time to eat.

Later that afternoon it's sunny, and I'm needing to ride. I decide on a loop, hoping it will give 2 hours. Matt grabs his TT bike and we hit the road. It's windy. Far more windy than yesterday ~ wind that does slow me down. What happened to yesterday's mojo? I can see watts and know the effort I'm putting down, but I can't see speed. This is probably a good thing, because low digits on the road can be disheartening. Out past the purple shadowy branches of the blueberry farm, working against the wind. We turn the corner, and it is worse - a speed stopping headwind. I make myself small, tuck my shoulders and arms in, lower my back, and curse the brim of this new wool cap that is being blown down, limiting my field of vision. Chug, chug, chug. Legs churn, attempting to battle into the wind. Matt takes off on his very aero time trial bike, and he's suddenly small on the horizon. I chug along.

A few miles later, and we decide to go different directions. He's headed home, and I am going to continue on my loop. More head/side wind for me before I get to turn toward home. A climb up the back slope of Helvetia that is fortunately sheltered from the wind. I wave at other riders - going the opposite direction, very smart - and continue on. Once I get down the hill I stop and tear off the hat that continues to flop down like an overgrown widow's peak. Now the wind is at my back, and I fly home. I put in one or two sprints, needing to feel the speed and the effort on pavement. The tail wind takes me home quickly, and I'm very short of my 3 hour goal for the day. I'll need to figure out a different solution.

Race reports start to trickle in. The race we didn't do. There was a bang up wreck in what would have been my field. Point to the coach for keeping me out of that mess. I know I'm getting stronger - but am I ready??

Avoiding Housework

2009-02-13T11:32:00.000-08:00

There is a huge list of chores to do. Ones I hate to do. Ones that scoff at my attempt to take control and make wild promises around New Years. So instead, I took on a project that was much lower on the list, but held high personal satisfaction and quick results. I cleaned my craft room / dog den. I finally hung the cute chandelier I bought - a year ago?

This is a room I want to spend more time in. The piles of miscellaneous crap left over from Christmas gift wrap needed to go. Now, the room is back in order ~ so I shall share.

Body of Change

2009-02-09T21:02:00.001-08:00

I understand weight lifting. I can see the cause and effect, the quick results, the measurable increase in ability. Cycling, endurance, cardio efforts - these are things I do not quite comprehend, do not know how to quantify.

Since I started training, I've surpassed 1,000 miles. Not all outdoors, but still those miles happened by these legs, in that saddle.

I have new calluses building up on the outside heel of my hands. My biceps are thinning and becoming more defined. I'm seeing my quads slowly change shape, with new muscles becoming evident. Holy crap, I'm developing a cyclists body. It is slow, the changes are tiny, but I'm seeing tangible results from the effort, and it is inspiring.

I know I'm stronger on the bike than.... I think I can safely say Ever Before. Heck, I just turned in a 50m + 25m weekend in FEBRUARY! But I haven't tried to analyze the numbers - I wouldn't even know what to look for. Instead, I'll celebrate small successes, like seeing a newly defined curve in the quad muscles, and call that progress.

A February Weekend

2009-02-09T20:27:00.000-08:00

saturday

Cool and crisp - thin low clouds. I roll out with the race team for an Endurance pace ride, feeling confident that if I can just tuck in I'll be able to keep my effort where it needs to be, and not push Too Hard. I'm ready for three hours out, and place myself in the middle of the pack. Not so far forward that I have to do the work, not so far back that I suffer in the yo-yo effect. We're fairly smooth, but on top of another group and riders are confused on where they belong. The pace picks up as we try to separate out, such that by the time we stop for a flat I'm feeling a bit cooked.

The pace was quicker than intended - sloppy from the mixed groups and rushed to get off the high traffic roads. I take advantage of the break, we all regroup, and head out together again. It's relaxed a bit, a pace I can maintain. By the time we reach our only climb, I'm the last man up but it doesn't bother me. I am slow, but not as slow as I've been. Matt tries to chat with me, asks how I'm doing. Great, so long as I don't have to make words - I nod, and just keep going.

This is a double climb, and as we dip down before the second part he suggests picking up some speed. I do - a bit too much. It's a sharp turn. There's gravel. I fly in to the corner and lean in to the turn, the agility of the bike and the distance between the asphalt and my elbow frightens me. A little adrenaline burst, I shift into a less aggressive posture, and come out upright. Scared, slower, but upright. I'm going to need to practice descents and sharp turns on this bike, as she seems much more spry than prior steeds. I chug up to the top, and feather the breaks all the way down the very steep descent.

Another quick break, I strip off the arm warmers, and we start up a pace line 15+ strong. Left over Right. I have no idea what that is, watch for a bit, and figure it out. I get in line, work my way up to the front, maintain pace and effort, and slide over to the right where I ease off just enough to allow the line to wrap in front of me. I slide back down thru the line ~ and go again. Bob gives me props. It's sunny. It's beautiful. It doesn't feel like early February.

Eventually we make it thru Forest Grove and point the train toward home. Someone from another group has jumped in, and the pace up. Between that, a very sore seat, the efforts so far, and the rolling little hills I'm cooked. Some of the guys are keeping an eye on me. Or the back of the pack, but that's me. They stay with me - my wing men - guiding me back to the group even tho it takes miles to rejoin. I'm beyond grateful, and they never once complain that I'm keeping them back. The slight change in pace allows me to recover, and I am able to finish the ride with the group, and full of energy.

sunday

The alarm goes off, and I check the weather report. 27 degrees. The hour by hour reports that it'll be 38 by the time our ride starts, and 45 when we finish. An hour later I let the dogs out, and it's only one degree warmer. It will not hit 38 by the time we leave.

We dig thru the gear for wool and balakavas and neoprene booties and jacket and lobster claw mittens. I grab my capris, knee high wool socks, and am ready to go. Our 4 1/2 mile ride in to the start is freezing - the capris aren't nearly as protective as I'd thought, and my skin feels as tho it's been pierced by thousands of tiny ice daggers. I scan the parking lot, and strike Gold when Kender digs out his jar of Hot Embrocation. I pull the capris up to my hip & slather on the warming goop. Without this, I would have had to go home.

This is an easier ride than yesterday, but my body is less able. I don't know if it was the effort from yesterday or working thru the bitter cold, but it is a struggle. It never warms up. But we roll on, and roll home, and straight to the shower to warm up. What happened to yesterday's sun?

Twin Planks

2009-01-31T11:57:00.000-08:00

It is a bit bizarre to workout Next to someone doing nearly the same thing, and yet not working together. Since Matt's training started, our workouts have been fairly similar. On days calling for 60min recovery on the trainer, we'll sit and spin and chat and watch Simpsons commentary on DVD. On days when we need to work out, chances are you'll find us side by side, ipods loaded, earbuds secure, working up a sweat a mere 2 feet from each other. But there we spin, to our slightly different plan, to different music, in our own worlds - the focus is internal, intent.

When I'm not pushing a hard interval, I might notice the frequency he changes gears. When he finishes an interval, I'll reach over and pat his back - a little tiny bit of comeraderie breaching the focus. I try not to look at the massive watts he's putting out. I try to not compare those to my own.

Then there's Ab Wars. Throw down on yoga mats. Who can plank longer? Oh yeah? What about Side planks?! Kettlebell action? There's no talking - just the ragged inhales while the core shakes trying to hold you up.

We progress at our own pace, but congratulate each other as soon as we step out of the pain locker. It'll be there for us again tomorrow.

Oxen

2009-01-26T08:53:00.000-08:00

from msn.com:

This Chinese New Year begins on January 26, 2009, and ends on February 13, 2010.
This brings a serious and conservative energy... Earth Ox energy promises you the gifts of endurance, discipline, and will power so you can reach your goals next year! Stubborn Earth Ox gives you greater determination and strength to endure challenges and trials.

Endurance, discipline, will power, determination, and strength. It sounds like my training plan, goals, and execution rolled in to one. Huzzah, mr.Ox, Huzzah!

Tiny Update

2009-01-08T21:52:00.000-08:00

Spinning in the garage day after day is hard work. We got a break on Sunday, and went out on the road for the first time in... a month? It was Cold (31) and slow (endurance effort) but so very nice to be out in the world again. Tuesday's multitude of Max Efforts brought me to tears, and very nearly brought out my lunch. Yesterday was a recovery, which still meant an hour on the bike on a very hard saddle that I'm trying to love. Today put down a 5min max and 20min TT/max effort. It still feels weird to "go as hard as you can" for that long - figuring out how hard that really is, saving enough but not too much for the end.

I haven't been eating well enough, and think it's time to get back on thedailyplate so I can track overall consumption in addition to my carb/protein/fat ratios to make sure I am on track. I'd love for this post to be an epic tale of training and progress - but my legs are tired and I'm ready to sleep. Maybe tomorrow inspiration will strike...

A New Year

2009-01-01T09:36:00.000-08:00

I've made resolutions in the past. I've made piles of resolutions, set goals, deadlines, measures... and some I've even accomplished. Of course, many others I did not. Like learning a new language or achieving some glorified ideal I set for myself.

This year I am approaching things a little differently. I will still apply the knowledge I have in how to eat well. I will continue to explore the balance between being strictly healthy and decadently indulgent. I will continue to workout ~ thankfully I don't have to fret over the Plan, I simply need to Execute. I will continue to embrace buying less and making more ~ and being aware of packaging and the impact & source of said purchases. I won't be perfect, but I will be aware.

But as for resolutions, this year there is only One.

Mise en Place

The kitchen was the instigator. I really need to stop treating dishes like left overs, and hoping that they'll reduce on their own. My grandparents used to have a house rule that they wouldn't go to bed until all the dishes were done ~ and while I don't intend to save dishes until 10pm, I am inspired by having a clean start every morning.

Which spills over, frankly, to the rest of my environment. I know the zen of clean. I don't even mind cleaning all that much - it's just usually overwhelming and a low priority. So, if I can tackle an area at a time and find a place for everything, then I can work to put everything in its place!

I know this won't happen overnight. But maybe by March I'll complete a first pass of the entire house, and from there transition to maintenance. I won't have to scramble to tidy up if someone stops by. I won't have to dig for recipe cards or pens or sigh at a stack of folded laundry. Because it will have a place that is easy to identify, easy to pull from and return to.

Not museum clean. Not OCD on the folding of towels or alphabetizing tinned vegetables. Simple, Zen, organized, ready to use, livable, clean.

Oh, and Happy 2009 everyone!

My First Macaron

2008-12-30T20:45:00.000-08:00

One of my gifts this year was a recipe box. I've been collecting a loose stack of recipes for Years, and the pile was getting out of control. I've sorted and stashed all the sub 8.5x11 recipes and placed them in this bright, shiny red box. Yes, it's a Martha product. But it's so pretty!

The funny thing is, at least Half of that box is the Dessert category. I guess I have a soft spot (ha, ha) for the sweets. But I think that simply makes a perfect excuse for Box Number Two, dedicated solely to the Sweets. Wouldn't you agree?

After much blogservation of the Macaron variety, I decided to give it a go. Particularly once I realized these are synonymous with Amaretti cookies ~ something I can not find locally and have a spring recipe simply begging for them. (Check back once rhubarb season arrives!)

I settled on a recipe, researched everywhere I could for tips and tricks, and set out 110g of egg white on the counter. I didn't give them overnight, because that just creeps me out. I did stick just shy of the 4hr mark, hoping that the baking and any in-the-shell processing would eliminate any particulate cling ons.

I whipped up the egg to stiff peaks, I finely ground the hazelnut (yes, I diverged from the recipe) nearly ending up with nut butter, then forced it thru a seive, along with the by weight icing sugar.

I put my decorator's bag to work. I don't care how cheap the plastic bags are (200 to a roll?) or how conveinient it is to snip the edge of a ziplock bag ~ they simply can not stand up to the function of a quality decorator's bag. I free formed my little circles, and pan one went in the oven. Once they baked, I realized that the tip to prop the door open with a wooden spoon had merit, and so batches 2 and 3 turned out much nicer.

In hind sight, I need to be more patient. I anticipate I would have had much better results had I allowed them to try to touch before baking. As it is, I have a mix of beautiful and crumbled Hazelnut Macarons.

As these were baking, I set to task breaking down the two pomegranates I purchased. Unfortunately number one was pretty gross, the top third was rotten on the inside, so I chucked it all rather than risking illness. The second, fortunately, was beautiful. These brilliant arils came out clean, sparkly, delicious.

Tomorrow, they will be assembled ~ dark chocolate ganache, hazelnut cookies, and a tart pom filling. Num? Num Yummy.

Joyeux Noël!

2008-12-25T18:53:00.001-08:00

Breakfast ~ Chocolate Marzipan Cinnamon Rolls.
perhaps a little on the sweet side?

Dinner ~ Red and White Soup (not pictured)
Pork Tenderloin, Guacamole
Roast Parsnips, Squash, and Sweet Potato topped with candied chili pepper pecans
Peppers stuffed with Brown Rice and Squash Risotto

Dessert ~
Poached Pears
(or Baked Apple)
Chipotle Gingerbread

Many beverages later - and to all a good night!